As I was sitting down for dinner tonight, I was thinking through all that happen last year. Was 2009 a good year, or a worth-while year? or was it a heart-breaking year?
2009 came with it's mighty ups and trecherous downs, I do indeed have to say. Some where I literally felt my heart stop beating a few times either from excitement or from complete pain. But at the end of this year, well with one day to spare, this year has been a blessing. One filled with so many lessons and learning what it is that keeps us ticking through this life.
One with my hearts broken. One with people using one another, and friendships leaving.... but the beauty in this year in 2009... it's what came after the heartbreak for me. I have prayed probably my whole life that God would give me a story, a cool testimony. And my God has done something more than that. He has provided me with a story that has taken over 18 years to write....there were nine months in the tummy. :)
But what I mean is through out history if there was one little detail messed up from how my great-grandfather traveled over the atlantic to find freedom from whatever it was that he didn't want to do in germany, then I wouldn't be here in Germany. I never would have been able to watch my God take my little life, and totally throw a curve ball with it.
Thinking through 2009, my God did things in my life that I never thought were possible. He restored more than three completely destroyed relationships in my life. He brought me to a place where I didn't have to run, but just learn to listen. Where I don't have to be a little girl, but where I am now the oldest. He's turn my tables, and is continuing to teach me how to communicate, how to love, how to pour my heart out EVEN when I might NOT get anything in return. He's teaching me grace and mercy for my family and friends.
My God? He's amazing. He's the only one who understands my Danglish. I am so blessed that the same God that took me out of Southaven where I could communicate, put me here in Lage, and can still understand my heart. He knows when I am sad, or just hurting, or deeply desiring something. I never have to try to figure out the words to tell him that: He Knows.
So I guess at the end of this blog, I am seeing that 2009 was a very rough learning process, but truely a reward that has become an ebenezer in this little life of mine. One day I hope to write down this life of mine. All that I have lived, but 2009 will probably half the document if ever completed. ;)
Until next year!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The best day ever!
So I am going to start at the beginning with my wonderful journey to Hannover and back. :)
I woke up at six thirty this morning my time, got ready, and then ate breakfast with Doris, my Host Mom. (She's cool.) Then I ran downstairs into the basement to get my warm clothes because well i needed clothes. haha.
So then I ran back up two flights of stairs to my room, finished getting ready, grabbed my purse with my train ticket and then ran back down stairs to put on my boots and coat. (Notice I haven't once gone to the bathroom yet.) So then we drove, in the snow, to the train station here in Lage so I could catch my first train to Herford at 8:09. So it came at 8:12; stupid train.
Well I told Doris bye, and jumped one my train where I was on my own fighting through the german train system...alone...all the way to hannover. (2+ hours) So I made it to my first stop to Herford where there was a twenty minute wait until the train arrived. So I stood there in the cold...so about 5 degrees Fehrenheit. Rediculous! Intense.
Then I got on the next train where I thought I would never get to Hannover which I acutally did.... thirty mintues later. And then I got a txt message that said, "hey there is a car crash on the autobann, so i will be late." Great I'm already late, and now Julian, my german friend here that i met in the states is late too. So then I stood there by the Gleis (no idea what that's called in english...um...i seriously just looked this up on leo.org....platform).... waiting for Julian to come when this [ugly] man walk up to me, and said, "I just have to stop and tell you that you are just such a beautiful young lady." So of course, I smile and say thank you. He goes away, and then I continue to wait, until..... he comes back five seconds later to say, "You are certainly waiting here for your mother, aren't you?" Think fast Michelle.... don't tell him the truth that you are just visiting A friend... then he won't leave you alone... what to do??? I know! "Actually I'm meeting 'mein Freund' translated....my boyfriend." (Which he's not.)
So the guy..the [ugly] guy, looks me in the eye and asks when he is coming. Honesly I had no idea... he said he'd call when he got there... so i said, "in just a few mintues." And he responded, "oh i was hoping like three hours...i want to get some coffee with you. Can we?" Um... "NOOOOOO!" hahaha. "No, i am sorry i have to go meet my [boy]friend at another store..."
So then he went a way and i went to the entrance of the train station in probably the biggest city i have been to yet in germany. (ALONE) And i waited. And waited. And waited. And then I walked to mcdonald's to go to the bathroom, but i forgot that i am not in america anymore and you have to pay to pee. so i walk back to my postion at the entrance of the station. It's now ten till eleven. (we were suppose to meet at ten.) So i am thinking in the back of my head, "michelle you have been completely stood up. BUT! then I finally get a phone call, and see julian. So then we start walking and decide to go to the post office to mail a letter, and then go to get some coffee because it's stinking cold.
So then we talked in english, and then he would trip me up and talk to me in german, and i wouldn't notice that he switched languages. I hate that Ay. but it's funny at the same time. So then after we drank our coffee we walked through the city, looked at a little bit of the pretty buildings, and then met up with his english teacher, who also only talked to me IN ENGLISH. so then after that we looked at really expensive stores, but decided not to go in. And we then decided after two hours of just lolly gagging around that we would go back to his house for a little while and he'd show me his town, and i'd meet his parents.
So we went back to nordstemmen and then had some coffee, talked to his parents, and i played with his golden retrever. :) And i went potty at so two something. So then we decided to go look at his parents business, a fitness studio. Cool! then he should me his awesome private school, and then he invited me to go to dinner. So i said yes, and we went to dinner where he ate the salad and i ate the pizza.
So then we drove back to hannover and walked to the weihnachtsmarkt, and stood in the freezing cold to wait for my trian... by now it's -16 degrees celicus.... 3 degrees F. intense! So then I am finally on my train that came on time.... but some how got behind schedule...so i missed my next train back to Herford. I forgot that there were these really annoyed drunk guys that kept asking me to come to their party. they had over six beers with them, and this wonderful lady who lived in the town that we stopped in, and helped me find a new train to herford. so i get on the train to herford/bielefeld knowing that bielefeld would be just 30 min. from home... but then when i called me host mom she said no come through herford. so my train left herford 10 minutes before i got there with the new trian. so then i had to get off, and find a new one.
but before that there were more guys on the next train that kept asking me why i was so tense....who were also drunk and kept asking me if the guy beside me was my boyfriend...which was a guy that i didn't know. so they kept staring at me and asking me where i came from. booooo! so then when i got to herford they were like have a great weekend... yeah danke... and then i asked some guy with a brown mutze which gleis i was suppose to go to to get to lagge (lippe) my city train station but he could he my accent and said zwei...um..two. ughhhh!
so then it's only eight ten and i was to aufgeregt (leo.org) that i could think of what i was trying to say when i asked this other guy if i had time to go to the bathroom. ha he asked me if i spoke english.. which to i answered yes. and it turned out he is an englander who lives here in germany for the past few years. cool huh? so he said yeah you've got like twenty minutes. but then i couldn't find the bathroom, and had to ask. and the guy told me once again i had to pay fifty cents... but there was a line, and i didn't want to miss my trian so i went back up to the gleis to wait on my train. crazy.
and me and the englander started talking. and then we sat by eachother on the train and talked and asked every other sentecnce for the other person to use another word because we didn't understand each other. he then told me i should go back to hannover where he lived some day. hahaha. and then i found out his name was johnny, and then we talked and i was able to be funny michelle liek always because it was english. and then i got off my train and went home with my host dad, rolf.
In the car I told him this whole story and then, when i got home i told my whole family the story. and now i am sitting here writing it down for you...but then i'm going to bed!
I woke up at six thirty this morning my time, got ready, and then ate breakfast with Doris, my Host Mom. (She's cool.) Then I ran downstairs into the basement to get my warm clothes because well i needed clothes. haha.
So then I ran back up two flights of stairs to my room, finished getting ready, grabbed my purse with my train ticket and then ran back down stairs to put on my boots and coat. (Notice I haven't once gone to the bathroom yet.) So then we drove, in the snow, to the train station here in Lage so I could catch my first train to Herford at 8:09. So it came at 8:12; stupid train.
Well I told Doris bye, and jumped one my train where I was on my own fighting through the german train system...alone...all the way to hannover. (2+ hours) So I made it to my first stop to Herford where there was a twenty minute wait until the train arrived. So I stood there in the cold...so about 5 degrees Fehrenheit. Rediculous! Intense.
Then I got on the next train where I thought I would never get to Hannover which I acutally did.... thirty mintues later. And then I got a txt message that said, "hey there is a car crash on the autobann, so i will be late." Great I'm already late, and now Julian, my german friend here that i met in the states is late too. So then I stood there by the Gleis (no idea what that's called in english...um...i seriously just looked this up on leo.org....platform).... waiting for Julian to come when this [ugly] man walk up to me, and said, "I just have to stop and tell you that you are just such a beautiful young lady." So of course, I smile and say thank you. He goes away, and then I continue to wait, until..... he comes back five seconds later to say, "You are certainly waiting here for your mother, aren't you?" Think fast Michelle.... don't tell him the truth that you are just visiting A friend... then he won't leave you alone... what to do??? I know! "Actually I'm meeting 'mein Freund' translated....my boyfriend." (Which he's not.)
So the guy..the [ugly] guy, looks me in the eye and asks when he is coming. Honesly I had no idea... he said he'd call when he got there... so i said, "in just a few mintues." And he responded, "oh i was hoping like three hours...i want to get some coffee with you. Can we?" Um... "NOOOOOO!" hahaha. "No, i am sorry i have to go meet my [boy]friend at another store..."
So then he went a way and i went to the entrance of the train station in probably the biggest city i have been to yet in germany. (ALONE) And i waited. And waited. And waited. And then I walked to mcdonald's to go to the bathroom, but i forgot that i am not in america anymore and you have to pay to pee. so i walk back to my postion at the entrance of the station. It's now ten till eleven. (we were suppose to meet at ten.) So i am thinking in the back of my head, "michelle you have been completely stood up. BUT! then I finally get a phone call, and see julian. So then we start walking and decide to go to the post office to mail a letter, and then go to get some coffee because it's stinking cold.
So then we talked in english, and then he would trip me up and talk to me in german, and i wouldn't notice that he switched languages. I hate that Ay. but it's funny at the same time. So then after we drank our coffee we walked through the city, looked at a little bit of the pretty buildings, and then met up with his english teacher, who also only talked to me IN ENGLISH. so then after that we looked at really expensive stores, but decided not to go in. And we then decided after two hours of just lolly gagging around that we would go back to his house for a little while and he'd show me his town, and i'd meet his parents.
So we went back to nordstemmen and then had some coffee, talked to his parents, and i played with his golden retrever. :) And i went potty at so two something. So then we decided to go look at his parents business, a fitness studio. Cool! then he should me his awesome private school, and then he invited me to go to dinner. So i said yes, and we went to dinner where he ate the salad and i ate the pizza.
So then we drove back to hannover and walked to the weihnachtsmarkt, and stood in the freezing cold to wait for my trian... by now it's -16 degrees celicus.... 3 degrees F. intense! So then I am finally on my train that came on time.... but some how got behind schedule...so i missed my next train back to Herford. I forgot that there were these really annoyed drunk guys that kept asking me to come to their party. they had over six beers with them, and this wonderful lady who lived in the town that we stopped in, and helped me find a new train to herford. so i get on the train to herford/bielefeld knowing that bielefeld would be just 30 min. from home... but then when i called me host mom she said no come through herford. so my train left herford 10 minutes before i got there with the new trian. so then i had to get off, and find a new one.
but before that there were more guys on the next train that kept asking me why i was so tense....who were also drunk and kept asking me if the guy beside me was my boyfriend...which was a guy that i didn't know. so they kept staring at me and asking me where i came from. booooo! so then when i got to herford they were like have a great weekend... yeah danke... and then i asked some guy with a brown mutze which gleis i was suppose to go to to get to lagge (lippe) my city train station but he could he my accent and said zwei...um..two. ughhhh!
so then it's only eight ten and i was to aufgeregt (leo.org) that i could think of what i was trying to say when i asked this other guy if i had time to go to the bathroom. ha he asked me if i spoke english.. which to i answered yes. and it turned out he is an englander who lives here in germany for the past few years. cool huh? so he said yeah you've got like twenty minutes. but then i couldn't find the bathroom, and had to ask. and the guy told me once again i had to pay fifty cents... but there was a line, and i didn't want to miss my trian so i went back up to the gleis to wait on my train. crazy.
and me and the englander started talking. and then we sat by eachother on the train and talked and asked every other sentecnce for the other person to use another word because we didn't understand each other. he then told me i should go back to hannover where he lived some day. hahaha. and then i found out his name was johnny, and then we talked and i was able to be funny michelle liek always because it was english. and then i got off my train and went home with my host dad, rolf.
In the car I told him this whole story and then, when i got home i told my whole family the story. and now i am sitting here writing it down for you...but then i'm going to bed!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas is a month celebration!
"You can see how much you are loved by every package that comes our way." -Mama.
My God is definitely challenging my heart, but still answering prayers. The family and I have had some very wonderful experiences. I am so honored to be with this family. So so so honored. :)
I really don't know what to write you guys. I want you to know that my heart is being restored, but before you can get there sometimes you have to go through the fire first. I am very excited about what lies ahead.
I know that my God has plans for this life. And I know that I am experiencing more now that most people do in a life time, and for that I am honored. :))
Christmas boxes came today.
My God is definitely challenging my heart, but still answering prayers. The family and I have had some very wonderful experiences. I am so honored to be with this family. So so so honored. :)
I really don't know what to write you guys. I want you to know that my heart is being restored, but before you can get there sometimes you have to go through the fire first. I am very excited about what lies ahead.
I know that my God has plans for this life. And I know that I am experiencing more now that most people do in a life time, and for that I am honored. :))
Christmas boxes came today.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe? Baby, tell me how you love me now. Tell me how can you sleep? How can you breathe? I hate how you say you love me now. Woah Wo... a..oh.. :)
I know that people told me this would be the best thing of my life, but some times I forget that they also said it would be hard. This is just one of those nights where I am sitting here thinking, which is never good. Questions keep tossing and turning in my head, and it's like I know that it's dumb and I do want this, but tonight I just keep asking if this is really what I wanted?
Am I really strong enough for this place? I really don't see that I will EVER be "strong" enough for this place, and distance from my God has never been so far. Everything in me is bound to make it through this year, and become someone new. Become and new woman, ready to know exactly what I want to live in this life, and whom for. I already know part of that sentence. Jesus.
But then I think I could be safe and sound in my bed in the states. I could be living a normal "senior year" this year, and seeing if things would work out with the people I miss the most. I hate that I miss some so much, might I add. But it seems like you never realize the ones you'll really miss until you're gone. So it that in life, huh?
I just want this year to mean something; to matter at the end of the day. I want it to be something that at the end, I say, "Look at what you have accomplished." But NOT just that... but I want to hear, "Look what I have accomplished in your life, character, and who you are." from my Lord. My goal at the end of the day countines to be to make my God proud, even if I "stick out like a sore thumb."
But can I ask you a question? Of course other than the previous sentence. How much would you endure for the glory of your God? I don't want any of those stupid, and yes i said STUPID, (get over it) sunday school answers. I'm sick of those "right" answers. I want honest answers. How far would you go for the God you serve?
Do you really believe all the promises that His Word says? That He'll never leave you? That you're going to make it through the next storm? That you're going to become stronger at the end of everything that you're living right now? Do you really believe that He died for you, and paid all your sins at the cross, and that all you have to do is say "God, I need your Son's blood to cover my life, my heart." To say that no matter what happens, no matter where you lead me, and what trails and tests I fail, I am still going to pick myself up, and say, "I am yours; You are mine.... I give my life away, and leave it all behind" to give you more glory.
Honestly, I am seeing that my "faith" was nothing more than listening and doing exactly what people said. This life is HARD. There is nothing easy about loving people who think totally differently about this life. Do I really believe all His promises? I can't say that I honestly do, but wait. I do believe. I do. But somewhere in this I've forgotten what it is that my Lord really has done for me. What His word says; That He is always here. He's not leaving, and His ways are guided for me.
Do I always think I am going to make it out of my struggles? Absolutely not. I look at things here, and I think all the time that I am seeing the wicked and disgusting sinful nature of myself. I will take on Paul for that "worst of all sinners" place. My heart is filthy.
He'll never leave you? I've never felt so alone. He's here; I know He is, I just can't seem to find Him. I've lost Him in this crowd; His voice is so hard to hear. I just need to hear His voice one again, I need Him to hold me again. I need His touch. I need Him, but I know He is here. I've just got to keep calling His name, or listen harder for Him to call mine.
Sometimes, it's like the storm never ends, and I don't think my heart will ever be whole. I feel like the tree blowing around in the wind. Whipping and binding, praying that my roots are strong enough to withstand this life. I know I'll be different, but "better" I have no clue about that.
God,
I know you've died for me on Calvery. I know that you have a plan for this life of mine. I admit to you that my heart is filthy, wicked, and so sinful. God I just want You to be near. Please, hold me tonight. Come and shine your light...."Your light will shine when all else fails." Make your Son's blood become more than reality. Let me fall in love with You once again. Bring yourself glory in the midst of everything you are putting into my life. Give me strength in the struggle, and help me to learn how to fight these battles. I want to be the warrior that You have called me to be. Let me be a light for your nations. Come close, and hold my heart?
Desperite for You,
Amen.
I know that people told me this would be the best thing of my life, but some times I forget that they also said it would be hard. This is just one of those nights where I am sitting here thinking, which is never good. Questions keep tossing and turning in my head, and it's like I know that it's dumb and I do want this, but tonight I just keep asking if this is really what I wanted?
Am I really strong enough for this place? I really don't see that I will EVER be "strong" enough for this place, and distance from my God has never been so far. Everything in me is bound to make it through this year, and become someone new. Become and new woman, ready to know exactly what I want to live in this life, and whom for. I already know part of that sentence. Jesus.
But then I think I could be safe and sound in my bed in the states. I could be living a normal "senior year" this year, and seeing if things would work out with the people I miss the most. I hate that I miss some so much, might I add. But it seems like you never realize the ones you'll really miss until you're gone. So it that in life, huh?
I just want this year to mean something; to matter at the end of the day. I want it to be something that at the end, I say, "Look at what you have accomplished." But NOT just that... but I want to hear, "Look what I have accomplished in your life, character, and who you are." from my Lord. My goal at the end of the day countines to be to make my God proud, even if I "stick out like a sore thumb."
But can I ask you a question? Of course other than the previous sentence. How much would you endure for the glory of your God? I don't want any of those stupid, and yes i said STUPID, (get over it) sunday school answers. I'm sick of those "right" answers. I want honest answers. How far would you go for the God you serve?
Do you really believe all the promises that His Word says? That He'll never leave you? That you're going to make it through the next storm? That you're going to become stronger at the end of everything that you're living right now? Do you really believe that He died for you, and paid all your sins at the cross, and that all you have to do is say "God, I need your Son's blood to cover my life, my heart." To say that no matter what happens, no matter where you lead me, and what trails and tests I fail, I am still going to pick myself up, and say, "I am yours; You are mine.... I give my life away, and leave it all behind" to give you more glory.
Honestly, I am seeing that my "faith" was nothing more than listening and doing exactly what people said. This life is HARD. There is nothing easy about loving people who think totally differently about this life. Do I really believe all His promises? I can't say that I honestly do, but wait. I do believe. I do. But somewhere in this I've forgotten what it is that my Lord really has done for me. What His word says; That He is always here. He's not leaving, and His ways are guided for me.
Do I always think I am going to make it out of my struggles? Absolutely not. I look at things here, and I think all the time that I am seeing the wicked and disgusting sinful nature of myself. I will take on Paul for that "worst of all sinners" place. My heart is filthy.
He'll never leave you? I've never felt so alone. He's here; I know He is, I just can't seem to find Him. I've lost Him in this crowd; His voice is so hard to hear. I just need to hear His voice one again, I need Him to hold me again. I need His touch. I need Him, but I know He is here. I've just got to keep calling His name, or listen harder for Him to call mine.
Sometimes, it's like the storm never ends, and I don't think my heart will ever be whole. I feel like the tree blowing around in the wind. Whipping and binding, praying that my roots are strong enough to withstand this life. I know I'll be different, but "better" I have no clue about that.
God,
I know you've died for me on Calvery. I know that you have a plan for this life of mine. I admit to you that my heart is filthy, wicked, and so sinful. God I just want You to be near. Please, hold me tonight. Come and shine your light...."Your light will shine when all else fails." Make your Son's blood become more than reality. Let me fall in love with You once again. Bring yourself glory in the midst of everything you are putting into my life. Give me strength in the struggle, and help me to learn how to fight these battles. I want to be the warrior that You have called me to be. Let me be a light for your nations. Come close, and hold my heart?
Desperite for You,
Amen.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Lord, let your glory fall.
I am starting to wake up from this blur, and realize that this IS my life. This IS exactly where I am suppose to be. I am honored by that. The Lord is putting me exactly in the places that I need to be in, with the people I need to minister to, with Him always by my side.
I felt for so long like I was such a failure. I felt like the last thing I was doing was giving my God the glory in everything I do. Here, I am facing things and struggling with things that I've never really had a problem with. Having to realize that the Lord is telling me to do, or not to do things for HIS glory, and for the purposes that He already has planned. I haven't lived up to exactly what He wants me to do, and I've shed more than a few tears over how tight my clothes are.
But the one thing I keep learning is that my God thinks I am beautiful, smart, and He IS going to use me here. I have confidence in that. I have confidence that the Lord has a purpose for my heart here in this country, but not only for me to learn. He also calls me to action. You never learn something in school, and then don't have homework on it the same night, and sometimes for the whole week or so. Basically until the "theme" is done. Here, it's the same concept. My God is starting to open up doors to minister to these beautiful people: my classmates. my friends. my peers. my family. my other family back home. people that I just meet on the street. the homeless. I am testifying now that I want to make God proud of me, everyone else just doesn't matter any more.
It's flattering to make other people proud, but this is my God; To Him, I am His BELOVED, His Daughter, His Darling, His pride and joy. I want to make Him proud.
I have a new situation that I ask for prayer for as I go about talking to a girl here about my beliefs and why I do or don't do in the things I do or, again, don't do. The Lord has seriously flung doors right open. So glorious.
Bring yourself glory here in this city. In this country. Burn your fire through here. Leave an everlasting impression on this place. God, I don't want to go back to the States until you've finished you purpose for me here at home. Take away my fears, put German words in my mouth, let me speak with clearity. I ask for wisdom. Provide your ministry here in this place. I thank you for the church you've given me, the fellow believers, the family, the friends, and this life. I praise you for letting me live my dream. Put that radical in me. Loving on this city! Amen.
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Caleely of Achor a door of hope. There she will respnmd as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up of our Egypt." -Hosea 2:14-15
I felt for so long like I was such a failure. I felt like the last thing I was doing was giving my God the glory in everything I do. Here, I am facing things and struggling with things that I've never really had a problem with. Having to realize that the Lord is telling me to do, or not to do things for HIS glory, and for the purposes that He already has planned. I haven't lived up to exactly what He wants me to do, and I've shed more than a few tears over how tight my clothes are.
But the one thing I keep learning is that my God thinks I am beautiful, smart, and He IS going to use me here. I have confidence in that. I have confidence that the Lord has a purpose for my heart here in this country, but not only for me to learn. He also calls me to action. You never learn something in school, and then don't have homework on it the same night, and sometimes for the whole week or so. Basically until the "theme" is done. Here, it's the same concept. My God is starting to open up doors to minister to these beautiful people: my classmates. my friends. my peers. my family. my other family back home. people that I just meet on the street. the homeless. I am testifying now that I want to make God proud of me, everyone else just doesn't matter any more.
It's flattering to make other people proud, but this is my God; To Him, I am His BELOVED, His Daughter, His Darling, His pride and joy. I want to make Him proud.
I have a new situation that I ask for prayer for as I go about talking to a girl here about my beliefs and why I do or don't do in the things I do or, again, don't do. The Lord has seriously flung doors right open. So glorious.
Bring yourself glory here in this city. In this country. Burn your fire through here. Leave an everlasting impression on this place. God, I don't want to go back to the States until you've finished you purpose for me here at home. Take away my fears, put German words in my mouth, let me speak with clearity. I ask for wisdom. Provide your ministry here in this place. I thank you for the church you've given me, the fellow believers, the family, the friends, and this life. I praise you for letting me live my dream. Put that radical in me. Loving on this city! Amen.
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Caleely of Achor a door of hope. There she will respnmd as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up of our Egypt." -Hosea 2:14-15
Monday, November 2, 2009
Five Hours of Sleep, Seven Hours of School, and Six More Hours of Only Doing Homework.
...and people wonder why I stay so sick!
So today I woke up totally exhausted just from the weekend, and just finally starting to really get over this cold or whatever the heck it is. I get up, excited that I will once again be able to go to school. And that is when it all began.
It started out as a normal day. After getting ready for school, I went to stairs to meet the family for breakfast. We ate, and then sad our good-byes, with Doris giving us all a great goodluck wish for the beginning of our week. Rolf, Maike, and I start for the car, like every school/work day, and make it there totally fine. We get into the car, and start on our journey for the beginning of November when all of the sudden we hear from the back seat, "I forgot my folder."
Maike had a presentation today, and it was in THAT folder nonetheless. So, we decide that we have enough time, and turn around. Maike quickly runs to the house, unlocks the door, and then goes inside frantically looking for her beloved, and much needed folder.
In the mean time, Rolf and I attend to talking a little bit of small talk while we sat in the car waiting "paitently" for Maike to return to us. Out of no where comes this dart of black, which of course would be none other than the notorious, JULIA, our dog. I jump out of the car, after first safely opening the door, but I was not quick enough. Sadly, Julia was gone. It is sure a good thing that we have a Doris, who did not have to go to work today, so she got Julia, and we left once again to start our day.
Once Maike and I arrive to the school we naturally start talking about how today is just so crazy, and it has just begun. Then my backpack, which might I add was COMPLETELY zipped, just opened up on its own as we were walking to the school building.
"Maike," I said a bit astonished that one more thing could happen, "my backpack is open."
"Yeah, all the pocket are undone. I will fix it," she said in reply.
We both decided that once again today would be a weird day.
So I go to first and second period, Politic, and nothing really happens. Just kind of chilled through the day, until I got to Math and had to do lovely graphs. Here they use compasses and geotriags for pretty much everything in Math, both of which I do not what-so-ever know how to use. When the class and teacher found out I did not know how to work such contraptions, we had a good five to seven minute lecture about how the Germans knew something the Americans did not....as if I am not in the room?
And then after that, I wonderful couple of girls taught me how these two things functioned. (Now it is really not as hard as you might think to draw a perfect circle graph by hand!)
Then it was off to German class where I got my test back. It had more read ink than blue, and we will leave German class with that. Lunch was not anything so special. Just the German kids talking about different American tv shows that I should watch. I found it just a little bit funny.
Then Biology, oh, Biology.... The class was not so bad, but after, now there is where the story begins. So I was sick last week, as most of you know, so I did not receive my grade for the first quarter of the year. I stay after class as requested with another girl, and received the following for a grade.
"You are too quiet. I speak very good English, answer in English when you need to, but answer something. (Every response I said back was IN GERMAN.) And, Michelle, you are sick way too much. Why?"
"Uh... that is a question I really want answered myself. No idea."
"You just cannot miss this much school. Well what do you have?"
"Again I am really not sure. A cold or something close to it. You know, migrans, upset stomach, sore throat, runny nose, stopped up sinuses, and this past time, I threw up. I am just simply exhausted by the end of it all, and so I just sleep. There is no chance of getting out of bed, and I seriously just sleep it off."
"Well, are you pregnant?"
I finished out today, by doing homework up until I wrote this blog. It is almost midnight, and now I am going to bed. I hope you enjoyed today! Praise God for his humor! :)
So today I woke up totally exhausted just from the weekend, and just finally starting to really get over this cold or whatever the heck it is. I get up, excited that I will once again be able to go to school. And that is when it all began.
It started out as a normal day. After getting ready for school, I went to stairs to meet the family for breakfast. We ate, and then sad our good-byes, with Doris giving us all a great goodluck wish for the beginning of our week. Rolf, Maike, and I start for the car, like every school/work day, and make it there totally fine. We get into the car, and start on our journey for the beginning of November when all of the sudden we hear from the back seat, "I forgot my folder."
Maike had a presentation today, and it was in THAT folder nonetheless. So, we decide that we have enough time, and turn around. Maike quickly runs to the house, unlocks the door, and then goes inside frantically looking for her beloved, and much needed folder.
In the mean time, Rolf and I attend to talking a little bit of small talk while we sat in the car waiting "paitently" for Maike to return to us. Out of no where comes this dart of black, which of course would be none other than the notorious, JULIA, our dog. I jump out of the car, after first safely opening the door, but I was not quick enough. Sadly, Julia was gone. It is sure a good thing that we have a Doris, who did not have to go to work today, so she got Julia, and we left once again to start our day.
Once Maike and I arrive to the school we naturally start talking about how today is just so crazy, and it has just begun. Then my backpack, which might I add was COMPLETELY zipped, just opened up on its own as we were walking to the school building.
"Maike," I said a bit astonished that one more thing could happen, "my backpack is open."
"Yeah, all the pocket are undone. I will fix it," she said in reply.
We both decided that once again today would be a weird day.
So I go to first and second period, Politic, and nothing really happens. Just kind of chilled through the day, until I got to Math and had to do lovely graphs. Here they use compasses and geotriags for pretty much everything in Math, both of which I do not what-so-ever know how to use. When the class and teacher found out I did not know how to work such contraptions, we had a good five to seven minute lecture about how the Germans knew something the Americans did not....as if I am not in the room?
And then after that, I wonderful couple of girls taught me how these two things functioned. (Now it is really not as hard as you might think to draw a perfect circle graph by hand!)
Then it was off to German class where I got my test back. It had more read ink than blue, and we will leave German class with that. Lunch was not anything so special. Just the German kids talking about different American tv shows that I should watch. I found it just a little bit funny.
Then Biology, oh, Biology.... The class was not so bad, but after, now there is where the story begins. So I was sick last week, as most of you know, so I did not receive my grade for the first quarter of the year. I stay after class as requested with another girl, and received the following for a grade.
"You are too quiet. I speak very good English, answer in English when you need to, but answer something. (Every response I said back was IN GERMAN.) And, Michelle, you are sick way too much. Why?"
"Uh... that is a question I really want answered myself. No idea."
"You just cannot miss this much school. Well what do you have?"
"Again I am really not sure. A cold or something close to it. You know, migrans, upset stomach, sore throat, runny nose, stopped up sinuses, and this past time, I threw up. I am just simply exhausted by the end of it all, and so I just sleep. There is no chance of getting out of bed, and I seriously just sleep it off."
"Well, are you pregnant?"
I finished out today, by doing homework up until I wrote this blog. It is almost midnight, and now I am going to bed. I hope you enjoyed today! Praise God for his humor! :)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Ein gutes Gottesdienst. (:
Everyone has their days, right? Their days when they think, "Wait, how did I get here? ...or... Is this REALLY what I want? ...or... I just want to be in your will, Lord. I want to be okay with the calling you've placed in my life now."
If not everyone, I know about once every two weeks I go through the cycle of just brokenness and pain from being so uncontent with what the Lord has called me to. For saying, God I don't want to do this. When I think of this cycle I see a two year old who wants maybe a piece of candy, but mommy and/or daddy says no. The anger of how much they want it... they cry, and cry, and cry, and then they do something so beautiful, they reach up and look into your face with tears in their eyes. They are now crying out for you to hold them not because they didn't get their candy, but because their feelings are hurt.
Amazing. Sometimes, I feel the same way. God calls us to things in life that absolutely can shake everything in us that is human. AND PRAISE GOD THAT HE DOES! It is beautiful that God doesn't want us to live in the same place, and protects us from what we think is really good for us. Praise God that He holds us, even when He tells us, "No, you can't have that." He loves on us, and gives us the satisfaction of His love in replace of our desires. He loves us through our desires, and praise the God who loves me even when I get my feelings hurt. Praise that God.
I am proud to be a Christ following believer.
I still am sticking to my promise, and I am pushing through disappoint, loneliness, exhaustion, and being uncomfortable.
Determined to push through,
Michelle.
If not everyone, I know about once every two weeks I go through the cycle of just brokenness and pain from being so uncontent with what the Lord has called me to. For saying, God I don't want to do this. When I think of this cycle I see a two year old who wants maybe a piece of candy, but mommy and/or daddy says no. The anger of how much they want it... they cry, and cry, and cry, and then they do something so beautiful, they reach up and look into your face with tears in their eyes. They are now crying out for you to hold them not because they didn't get their candy, but because their feelings are hurt.
Amazing. Sometimes, I feel the same way. God calls us to things in life that absolutely can shake everything in us that is human. AND PRAISE GOD THAT HE DOES! It is beautiful that God doesn't want us to live in the same place, and protects us from what we think is really good for us. Praise God that He holds us, even when He tells us, "No, you can't have that." He loves on us, and gives us the satisfaction of His love in replace of our desires. He loves us through our desires, and praise the God who loves me even when I get my feelings hurt. Praise that God.
I am proud to be a Christ following believer.
I still am sticking to my promise, and I am pushing through disappoint, loneliness, exhaustion, and being uncomfortable.
Determined to push through,
Michelle.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Just burdened.
My burden is probably from what I am not doing. I am not living a life of boldness here in Germany. I am so scared of what people will think: FEAR OF MAN, and I am so concerned that I will be looked down upon, or that I'll just be shunned for my beliefs, or for my views.
But something I am seeing is that here in Germany, it is so okay to tell people what you think. How you think to, or why you think it. People want to hear your opinions for the chance that maybe your opinions will change, but then I began to think.... if they want my opinions to change, could they also be looking for their own opinions too?
Could they be searching for what is true, and honest, and the real love that know one can provide. Maybe the reason I am being called to be stripped from so many things right now is simply because that is a testimony in itself.... a testimony that you can live a joyful and content life without alcohol, with out a boyfriend, without going to "parties." Could it be that this is no punishment, but it is making me look and become more like Christ?
I have been reading in Joshua recently, after recieving a blessing of a scripture from the first chapter. I really just see God showing me the boldness of Joshua, and the way people listened to him. But not just that, they way he listened to the LORD. The way he "fell FACEDOWN" from recieving the command of the Lord. I want to live a radical life like the life that Joshua lived. The humbleness of knowing that the Lord is there.
Lord, renew me. Make me clean. Let me serve and love people like you have called me to. Teach me to be the open and vulnerable person that you've called me to. God, let me walk in the freedom that I keep telling people about. When I am just scared to do or say something you've called me to, give me peace. God, I have the fear of man here, and I repent of that. I ask that you would show up in the middle of my fears. Lord, do with me what you want. Bring me to be the person that glorifies your name always. I repent that I am not in my word like I should be. Remind me that the Word is my defense in the middle of the struggle. Give me your strength to complete your mission, and the wisdom to know how to say something, when to say, or when to just shut up and serve. I claim that better things have yet to come in this city, and ask that you would begin to burn a fire here. Let it ignite, and I pray that you would keep it burning. Praise the Lord who saved me from myself.
In Him,
Amen.
But something I am seeing is that here in Germany, it is so okay to tell people what you think. How you think to, or why you think it. People want to hear your opinions for the chance that maybe your opinions will change, but then I began to think.... if they want my opinions to change, could they also be looking for their own opinions too?
Could they be searching for what is true, and honest, and the real love that know one can provide. Maybe the reason I am being called to be stripped from so many things right now is simply because that is a testimony in itself.... a testimony that you can live a joyful and content life without alcohol, with out a boyfriend, without going to "parties." Could it be that this is no punishment, but it is making me look and become more like Christ?
I have been reading in Joshua recently, after recieving a blessing of a scripture from the first chapter. I really just see God showing me the boldness of Joshua, and the way people listened to him. But not just that, they way he listened to the LORD. The way he "fell FACEDOWN" from recieving the command of the Lord. I want to live a radical life like the life that Joshua lived. The humbleness of knowing that the Lord is there.
Lord, renew me. Make me clean. Let me serve and love people like you have called me to. Teach me to be the open and vulnerable person that you've called me to. God, let me walk in the freedom that I keep telling people about. When I am just scared to do or say something you've called me to, give me peace. God, I have the fear of man here, and I repent of that. I ask that you would show up in the middle of my fears. Lord, do with me what you want. Bring me to be the person that glorifies your name always. I repent that I am not in my word like I should be. Remind me that the Word is my defense in the middle of the struggle. Give me your strength to complete your mission, and the wisdom to know how to say something, when to say, or when to just shut up and serve. I claim that better things have yet to come in this city, and ask that you would begin to burn a fire here. Let it ignite, and I pray that you would keep it burning. Praise the Lord who saved me from myself.
In Him,
Amen.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Two years ago, I had no idea I'd be here.
Those of you who know me, should know me well enough to know that the title of this message isn't by any means what this blog is about. Sorry guys. I like to keep you on your feet.
So I just want to keep you all updated just with life, and having two weeks of vacation, and all. I am getting to know a new family this week because friends of the family are staying with us through Friday. I am making a new friend with a ten year old named, Kathrine. She is sweet, but is still trying to find her place in her life. I understand that because like her, I too, am the youngest child.
I met Kate's dad through web cam Sunday which was really cool. I am excited about something that I was told. "Not too many 18 year olds can articulate why they want to go to a certain school, but you did a very good job." That was just encouraging. Kate and I just got to sit down and talk about everything from frustrations to the best things we've come to find here in this place. God has blessed me once again with friendship from somewhere I didn't expect it to be. He is such a beautiful God!
I was in another Cathedral today, and I decided to light another candle. This time though, I didn't do it for everyone back home. I have decided that every time I see a candle thing in a Cathedral I am only going to light a candle if I have prayed over that city over that Cathedral over these people here in Germany. I saw a sign today that said, "Rette deine Seele" "Save your soul." Just praying that God gives me another chance on the opportunity I totally walked out on.
I am giving the Lord all of my thoughts. I want all my thoughts to be thoughts that will glorify the Lord of this globe.
I hope all of you know that when I come back I won't be who I was when I left. This is directed at no one. Just listening to a song, and it said, "don't ever change." That's impossible! And now that I am here I am letting the Lord mold me into the person He wants me to be, but sometimes I take control....and then like we have all heard I have to give it back to the Lord.
His plans are so much better. I love you all.
Bis bald.
:)
So I just want to keep you all updated just with life, and having two weeks of vacation, and all. I am getting to know a new family this week because friends of the family are staying with us through Friday. I am making a new friend with a ten year old named, Kathrine. She is sweet, but is still trying to find her place in her life. I understand that because like her, I too, am the youngest child.
I met Kate's dad through web cam Sunday which was really cool. I am excited about something that I was told. "Not too many 18 year olds can articulate why they want to go to a certain school, but you did a very good job." That was just encouraging. Kate and I just got to sit down and talk about everything from frustrations to the best things we've come to find here in this place. God has blessed me once again with friendship from somewhere I didn't expect it to be. He is such a beautiful God!
I was in another Cathedral today, and I decided to light another candle. This time though, I didn't do it for everyone back home. I have decided that every time I see a candle thing in a Cathedral I am only going to light a candle if I have prayed over that city over that Cathedral over these people here in Germany. I saw a sign today that said, "Rette deine Seele" "Save your soul." Just praying that God gives me another chance on the opportunity I totally walked out on.
I am giving the Lord all of my thoughts. I want all my thoughts to be thoughts that will glorify the Lord of this globe.
I hope all of you know that when I come back I won't be who I was when I left. This is directed at no one. Just listening to a song, and it said, "don't ever change." That's impossible! And now that I am here I am letting the Lord mold me into the person He wants me to be, but sometimes I take control....and then like we have all heard I have to give it back to the Lord.
His plans are so much better. I love you all.
Bis bald.
:)
Friday, October 16, 2009
When disappoint comes, I promise to persevere.
Fall break has been a culture lesson after another. It has been exhausting, but so so much fun. I am honored to say that I have gotten to experience the way of worshipping Jesus in German. Really cool.
But it seems every time I begin to look forward to something, it gets pulled from my grips. I am not going to sit here and lie straight through my teeth and tell you that I am not disappointed. I had plans for tomorrow to see a friend of mine, and stuff just kind of came up. And well sadly we can't meet, but I know that in due time we'll see each other again.
And I know that lies in my head will come, but I am making a promise to you now. I am promising that right now I am going to persevere when disappointment comes my way. When I don't know what else I should do, or what I am just exhausted I am making a promise right here that I am going to keep my head up because at the end of all of this. At the end of these experiences, and at the end of being here in this new culture and experiencing so many new things I will be a stronger person. I will be able to say that my God is big even here in Germany.
I will be able to say that thanks to everyone that has helped me through this journey. And I will be fluent in German. I am honored to say that I have been in Germany fastly approaching 3 months. I am so very excited about that. A lot of me wants to stay here in this place. I really do love it here. It's a good thing it's only October, I've got too much to do and see. The Lord has more plans for me, and honestly I don't have a clue what they are, but I know that his plans will put me exactly where I need to be.
Sometimes you have to buy things just to find out that you wasted your money. (That's the thought of the day.)
Love this country. Love these people. Love this language. Still miss home.
Rising above disappointment.
Michelle
But it seems every time I begin to look forward to something, it gets pulled from my grips. I am not going to sit here and lie straight through my teeth and tell you that I am not disappointed. I had plans for tomorrow to see a friend of mine, and stuff just kind of came up. And well sadly we can't meet, but I know that in due time we'll see each other again.
And I know that lies in my head will come, but I am making a promise to you now. I am promising that right now I am going to persevere when disappointment comes my way. When I don't know what else I should do, or what I am just exhausted I am making a promise right here that I am going to keep my head up because at the end of all of this. At the end of these experiences, and at the end of being here in this new culture and experiencing so many new things I will be a stronger person. I will be able to say that my God is big even here in Germany.
I will be able to say that thanks to everyone that has helped me through this journey. And I will be fluent in German. I am honored to say that I have been in Germany fastly approaching 3 months. I am so very excited about that. A lot of me wants to stay here in this place. I really do love it here. It's a good thing it's only October, I've got too much to do and see. The Lord has more plans for me, and honestly I don't have a clue what they are, but I know that his plans will put me exactly where I need to be.
Sometimes you have to buy things just to find out that you wasted your money. (That's the thought of the day.)
Love this country. Love these people. Love this language. Still miss home.
Rising above disappointment.
Michelle
Saturday, October 10, 2009
skype.
"I know that you are going to be alright. And you are going to come out of this in the end, and you'll look at me and say, 'Look I'm not being stupid any more.'"
-Robbie.
So encouraged. Time for bed. :)
-Robbie.
So encouraged. Time for bed. :)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Oktober...already?!
Not only is it October, but it's soon to be the middle of October. How fast years really do fly. Soon I'll be sending Christmas presents out, and waiting for the day to open and share Christmas in one house with all my family here. I just can't get over how much I love this place.
I found out that school here isn't over until July 17, 2010. I hate to tell all of you this, but I am so so sad to think that I have to leave before I am even through with my full school year here. But honestly school starts in Southaven just a week or two after that. It's crazy when you think about it. I'll be going to school for like a good solid two years, and if I decide to do summer classes when I get finished with High School then I'm going to be in class bascially for the rest of my school carreer. ha.
Today, Caro and I had a great talk about God's plans, and how we really don't know what is next to come for us. Both of us said it's always a possibility to move to the others country if that's what the Lord tells us to do. Now we're just sitting here, and trying to glorify our God while we're waiting.
"Even if you fall sometimes; He'll give you the faith to rise! When the world says you can't; He'll tell you that you can." -Kutless.
I miss you all. I love both here and there.
-Michelle
I found out that school here isn't over until July 17, 2010. I hate to tell all of you this, but I am so so sad to think that I have to leave before I am even through with my full school year here. But honestly school starts in Southaven just a week or two after that. It's crazy when you think about it. I'll be going to school for like a good solid two years, and if I decide to do summer classes when I get finished with High School then I'm going to be in class bascially for the rest of my school carreer. ha.
Today, Caro and I had a great talk about God's plans, and how we really don't know what is next to come for us. Both of us said it's always a possibility to move to the others country if that's what the Lord tells us to do. Now we're just sitting here, and trying to glorify our God while we're waiting.
"Even if you fall sometimes; He'll give you the faith to rise! When the world says you can't; He'll tell you that you can." -Kutless.
I miss you all. I love both here and there.
-Michelle
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sick of just going through the motions.
Everything in me screams for the Lord, but I feel like I am just walking through the motions. Walking through just trying to keep my pace with here in Germany. Trying to stay in tune with this language and culture. Trying to keep up with all of my school work, home life, clubs, talking to everyone back home, and then at the end of the day I forget or am so exhausted that I don't get in my word.... or when I am in it I just feel like I am reading words.
I want so badly to just say that I can just jump up and tell people that the Lord is the Way. Where is the person that was so ready to jump out of the comfort zone? I just didn't realize how exhausting this life really is, and how much life really starts to take a toll on you.
Where is the person that would take the world by her hands, and say that Jesus is still here? God I haven't stopped believing in You. Will you please take out the fear of man: the fear of people, and what they will say about my love for you, please God take that away from my heart. Let me just fear who you are! God, I just want to stay in the presence of who you are.
-Exhausted. With a lot of homework left to do.
Michelle
I want so badly to just say that I can just jump up and tell people that the Lord is the Way. Where is the person that was so ready to jump out of the comfort zone? I just didn't realize how exhausting this life really is, and how much life really starts to take a toll on you.
Where is the person that would take the world by her hands, and say that Jesus is still here? God I haven't stopped believing in You. Will you please take out the fear of man: the fear of people, and what they will say about my love for you, please God take that away from my heart. Let me just fear who you are! God, I just want to stay in the presence of who you are.
-Exhausted. With a lot of homework left to do.
Michelle
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Reunification Day and Thanksgiving.
Yeah, this weekend was full of simple holidays. But I just think it is really cool. I'm glad that I payed attention in school because I knew what all of the history was for the Reunification day, but I had no clue about thanksgiving.
With that came that no stores were open so we had to make homemade bread two days in a row, which I am most definiately not complaining about. Really excited about what is next to come on this journey, and ready to just sore high on wings like eagles!
Did you know that an eagle in Germany is a Porcupine? Hahaha. Cool Germany stories that I will have for the rest of my life! I love this place, and I hope to come back for a semster or so in college. I am totally honored that Germany would let me come to her, and that she would call me one of her own.
Michelle
With that came that no stores were open so we had to make homemade bread two days in a row, which I am most definiately not complaining about. Really excited about what is next to come on this journey, and ready to just sore high on wings like eagles!
Did you know that an eagle in Germany is a Porcupine? Hahaha. Cool Germany stories that I will have for the rest of my life! I love this place, and I hope to come back for a semster or so in college. I am totally honored that Germany would let me come to her, and that she would call me one of her own.
Michelle
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Chemie zu Hause. :)
There is yeast in wine, and that combined with the juice, sugar, and chemical thing produce CO2 which comes out of this thingy that is located on top of our wine globe.
The beginning of apple wine. Looks gross, huh?
All our supplies. :)
A page in our little book that says, "The little Wine labortory."
The recepie. :)
So today I got up pretty late, had coffee, and an applesorle with Oma and Opa, and then I spent the rest of my afternoon in the kitchen with Rolf, Doris, and for a little while Maike. (She had music practice today.) Yeah, so I spent a lot of time sitting pealing apples. Over fifty apples have come and gone from us today. Some for an apple cake, which is absolutely yummy. Then we need 12 Liters of fresh apple juice for the wine we made today.
I've never made wine before so this was totally cool. And on top of that I did realize how much Chemistry these wine makers needed to produce their wine. After you have gone through the pealing, cutting, and juicing of the apples, you must put in Vitamin C so that it isn't that nasty brown color, and then you must also calculate how acidic the apple juice is. And honestly, it wasn't. So we had to put 40 grams of this chemical in the wine to make it acidic. We had to zero out the scale just like in Chemistry.
And before you can do that, you must calculate how much of this chemical you need for every liter of wine you have. HOW COOL! (I got to use my calculater to do this by the way.)
Totally cool and new experience. Now I have to wait until Christmas to see the finished product.
Just thought I'd tell you our new adventure of the day. Remember to always try things, you never know how much joy you'll get from learning something new. :)
In Him,
Michelle
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Not a lot happening.
Well I'm finishing up my next full month in this new country that feels so much like home to me. Oh, I really think I want to come back sometime in my college career. How cool will that be if I do get to come back!
Sad thing is life is just life. I don't really know what to tell you is happening. I know that everyone wants to know how I am doing, and what I am doing, but the truth is life isn't much different than at home in the States. Yeah, okay it is, but what I mean is that I have a routine here, just like back in good ole Miss'ssppi.
I get up, get ready, go to school, hang out with my friends, and joke around. I ask way to many questions, and always make way to many mistakes in German. I am not so good with my talking, but I have learned that giving up isn't an option. I want to be completely fluent, and so I am determine to master this language. (Even Germans sometimes mess up there speach.) Yeah after school I go home, eat, and then if I have a club or something I go. Every night at 7:40 I watch Guten Zeit Schletten Zeit with Doris and Maike. (That's a GERMAN soap.) And I do my homework somewhere in between all of that.
So life is stable. I am making friends, that I am hoping to have for a very long time. I love this place, and I love these people. I love this language even though it kicks my butt.
I guess the newest update is that I with my parents help am trying to help my host sister be an exchange student next year. She's adorable, and hopefully if everything works out with all of our countries and paper work, she will be living with us next year. I think everyone involved in the process is starting to get their hopes up. If God is willing, I really would love her to come. That's two years straight living together. Ha.
But we get along just fine. :)
Yeah. I struggle with the same things that I always do.... as I was recently told: I am a girl, we struggle with that. Ha. Talked to mom and dad both this week, and it was good to hear both of their voices.
Wanting to live for the Lord.
-Michelle
Sad thing is life is just life. I don't really know what to tell you is happening. I know that everyone wants to know how I am doing, and what I am doing, but the truth is life isn't much different than at home in the States. Yeah, okay it is, but what I mean is that I have a routine here, just like back in good ole Miss'ssppi.
I get up, get ready, go to school, hang out with my friends, and joke around. I ask way to many questions, and always make way to many mistakes in German. I am not so good with my talking, but I have learned that giving up isn't an option. I want to be completely fluent, and so I am determine to master this language. (Even Germans sometimes mess up there speach.) Yeah after school I go home, eat, and then if I have a club or something I go. Every night at 7:40 I watch Guten Zeit Schletten Zeit with Doris and Maike. (That's a GERMAN soap.) And I do my homework somewhere in between all of that.
So life is stable. I am making friends, that I am hoping to have for a very long time. I love this place, and I love these people. I love this language even though it kicks my butt.
I guess the newest update is that I with my parents help am trying to help my host sister be an exchange student next year. She's adorable, and hopefully if everything works out with all of our countries and paper work, she will be living with us next year. I think everyone involved in the process is starting to get their hopes up. If God is willing, I really would love her to come. That's two years straight living together. Ha.
But we get along just fine. :)
Yeah. I struggle with the same things that I always do.... as I was recently told: I am a girl, we struggle with that. Ha. Talked to mom and dad both this week, and it was good to hear both of their voices.
Wanting to live for the Lord.
-Michelle
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Two pizzas, two very hungry people, and one homeless man.
Today was a day I spent with Caro. I am so excited to say I do have a winter jacket that is very warm. Janet, I want to tell you that I have been shopping wisely looking for warm clothes, and today I bought no short sleeve shirts. I feel proud just because I know you are smiling. I finally have a head, and am using it. ha.
After a morning of trying on clothes with things too way too small, and coming away with no skirts, Caro and I were so hungry we decided to get something to eat. So we wondered through the city looking for food, and then we found something that smelled so wonderful. Of course, it was the best pizza in the world... okay not really. It was good though with water to drink.
So we're walking through the city to go and find a good place in the park to sit and enjoy our food, but before we got there we passed by a homeless man. And guys, I did exactly what the Bible tells us not to. I looked over at this man, and looked quickly away. But not only did I look away quickly, I looked away disgusted at this man.
So I went along and we found a great place to sit, and we were eating and we were sitting there and eating. I guess I was just sitting there with a blank look on my face that many of you know. Caro snapped her fingers, and ask what I was thinking about. We talked for a little bit about going back home, and about how I am so different now, and how I'll be more different in 8 months. I looked up at Caro in the middle of a sentence and said, maybe you'll think I am completely crazy, but I can't eat this. And she ask, "Why not? You're hungry.." And I said I can't eat the rest of this when I know he is hungry.
I know this isn't German, and I know that all of the people will probably say things, but I just have to do this. Caro, knowing that I am always really thristy, she gave me her water.... I just said I've got to give this to him too. She said, "Okay let's go."
We did discuss the thought of what if he only wanted money for drugs or alcohol, or something, and we decided that if this was just a pose for cigarettes or pot or something that he'd tell us that he didn't want the cigarettes. So we continued on our journey to talking to this man. I ask whether I should, "siest" him which is basically in English say mister... So she said... Sie. (Mister).
So we walked over to the man, and I asked this guy if he was hungry. And he said yes. And I gave him only two pieces of the whole pizza I had. And then I went on to ask, are you thirsty? And he said yes. And I gave him Caro's half empty bottle of water, and then the thought of loving other people more set in my heart and my head. I kept saying I want to give him a whole pizza, and a whole bottle of water.
After a morning of trying on clothes with things too way too small, and coming away with no skirts, Caro and I were so hungry we decided to get something to eat. So we wondered through the city looking for food, and then we found something that smelled so wonderful. Of course, it was the best pizza in the world... okay not really. It was good though with water to drink.
So we're walking through the city to go and find a good place in the park to sit and enjoy our food, but before we got there we passed by a homeless man. And guys, I did exactly what the Bible tells us not to. I looked over at this man, and looked quickly away. But not only did I look away quickly, I looked away disgusted at this man.
So I went along and we found a great place to sit, and we were eating and we were sitting there and eating. I guess I was just sitting there with a blank look on my face that many of you know. Caro snapped her fingers, and ask what I was thinking about. We talked for a little bit about going back home, and about how I am so different now, and how I'll be more different in 8 months. I looked up at Caro in the middle of a sentence and said, maybe you'll think I am completely crazy, but I can't eat this. And she ask, "Why not? You're hungry.." And I said I can't eat the rest of this when I know he is hungry.
I know this isn't German, and I know that all of the people will probably say things, but I just have to do this. Caro, knowing that I am always really thristy, she gave me her water.... I just said I've got to give this to him too. She said, "Okay let's go."
We did discuss the thought of what if he only wanted money for drugs or alcohol, or something, and we decided that if this was just a pose for cigarettes or pot or something that he'd tell us that he didn't want the cigarettes. So we continued on our journey to talking to this man. I ask whether I should, "siest" him which is basically in English say mister... So she said... Sie. (Mister).
So we walked over to the man, and I asked this guy if he was hungry. And he said yes. And I gave him only two pieces of the whole pizza I had. And then I went on to ask, are you thirsty? And he said yes. And I gave him Caro's half empty bottle of water, and then the thought of loving other people more set in my heart and my head. I kept saying I want to give him a whole pizza, and a whole bottle of water.
Friday, September 25, 2009
So give up, or are you ready to do what you came to do?
That's the question I keep asking myself. I love this place, these people, and this city. But we all get frustrated with different things in our lives. Some with cars, others with people, and others with food. Pick your thing. In every situation there is always something new to handle.
I was on twitter because it's a site that not many people have me on. Somewhere I could totally vent, and then I came acroos this from Louie Giglio: "For us, Passion = the degree of difficulty you are willing to endure to accomplish the goal. (Think Jesus on the cross)." And it really made me think. It's time to stop being a baby, deal with life like an adult, and push through. This is my ONLY year to live as an eightteen year old in Germany. (For those of you who are worried, I haven't become stupid with my decisions.) But really. Didn't the Lord call me to this place? Didn't He promise to never leave my side? Didn't He say He would quite my spirit when all is in chaos? Didn't he promise safety and heath? I believe He did promise these things.
Not to say that He promised these things with an easy year, or to say that He promised everything to go perfect and be perfect. That isn't the case. He never promised that. He never said I would have a place to lay my head, or a that taking up my cross every day wouldn't sometimes wear me out. He never promised that my cross wouldn't get heavy. He just said to do it. "Take up your cross, and follow me."
I will continue to serve, and to love these people in every way I possibly know how. I ask God to show me ways to show these people love. I will continue on this journey. I will not give up.
It's like when I am riding my bike about two miles to the church on Thursdays or Sundays. My legs are burning, I have trouble breathing, my peadling isn't as fast as when I first started, but I can see the street light. I can see the street I have to turn right on to, and then it's flight, level ground. I pretend I am three, and still watch Thomas the Train. I really do say " I think I can I think I can I think I can" in my head until I have made it up that hill. I make my turn, and the keep going until I get to the church parking lot where my bike get speed by itself. I don't have to peadle anymore. God will take control just like gravity and the force law from Phyics takes control on my bike.
Perserving and enduring what ever comes my way in faith in JESUS CHRIST.
-Michelle.
I was on twitter because it's a site that not many people have me on. Somewhere I could totally vent, and then I came acroos this from Louie Giglio: "For us, Passion = the degree of difficulty you are willing to endure to accomplish the goal. (Think Jesus on the cross)." And it really made me think. It's time to stop being a baby, deal with life like an adult, and push through. This is my ONLY year to live as an eightteen year old in Germany. (For those of you who are worried, I haven't become stupid with my decisions.) But really. Didn't the Lord call me to this place? Didn't He promise to never leave my side? Didn't He say He would quite my spirit when all is in chaos? Didn't he promise safety and heath? I believe He did promise these things.
Not to say that He promised these things with an easy year, or to say that He promised everything to go perfect and be perfect. That isn't the case. He never promised that. He never said I would have a place to lay my head, or a that taking up my cross every day wouldn't sometimes wear me out. He never promised that my cross wouldn't get heavy. He just said to do it. "Take up your cross, and follow me."
I will continue to serve, and to love these people in every way I possibly know how. I ask God to show me ways to show these people love. I will continue on this journey. I will not give up.
It's like when I am riding my bike about two miles to the church on Thursdays or Sundays. My legs are burning, I have trouble breathing, my peadling isn't as fast as when I first started, but I can see the street light. I can see the street I have to turn right on to, and then it's flight, level ground. I pretend I am three, and still watch Thomas the Train. I really do say " I think I can I think I can I think I can" in my head until I have made it up that hill. I make my turn, and the keep going until I get to the church parking lot where my bike get speed by itself. I don't have to peadle anymore. God will take control just like gravity and the force law from Phyics takes control on my bike.
Perserving and enduring what ever comes my way in faith in JESUS CHRIST.
-Michelle.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Refresh.
I am so honored to serve the Lord Jesus Christ. He gives us what we need.
I didn't realize how much of a break I really did need. How much I needed to just sleep, and dwell in the presence of the Lord. I am humbled that by allowing me to be sick, the Lord has given me the chance to just breathe His fragrance in.
He is calling me to things that are really out of my comfort zone, but is showing me the joy that He has in store for me. The Lord knows what He is doing. He always does. I'm just so encouraged just from hearing that my German is getting better, and from hearing that I am doing okay.
God, you are glorious. Isaiah 40 is beautiful. I am praying this for both of my countries. I am going to go down stairs now. I have been a bit of a loner today... I could spend all my time here in the presence of the Lord.
In Him.
Michelle.
I didn't realize how much of a break I really did need. How much I needed to just sleep, and dwell in the presence of the Lord. I am humbled that by allowing me to be sick, the Lord has given me the chance to just breathe His fragrance in.
He is calling me to things that are really out of my comfort zone, but is showing me the joy that He has in store for me. The Lord knows what He is doing. He always does. I'm just so encouraged just from hearing that my German is getting better, and from hearing that I am doing okay.
God, you are glorious. Isaiah 40 is beautiful. I am praying this for both of my countries. I am going to go down stairs now. I have been a bit of a loner today... I could spend all my time here in the presence of the Lord.
In Him.
Michelle.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I put on my application that I enjoy English and History.
But now I think that has changed. I'm not sure what I want to major in yet still.... and maybe God's plan to place me in another country was to show me how much I didn't quite realize about myself. Maybe that sounds crazy.
I'm okay with sounding crazy. I'm okay if you think I'm completely loonely, but the fact of the matter is this: I love that I can for the most part understand a language. Adore it actually. Maybe when I come back home I will not only continue my journey in the German language, but maybe start a new voyage with Spanish. It is a world language also, and then maybe I'll move on to Chinese.....haha. Just kidding. I want to master the German language first, and then move slowly into Spanish. And all I have to do to make Spanish fluent is go to Texas for a little while. Bahahaha. (Just kidding....kind of.)
I know for sure with two months here that international relations is my calling. I thrive on this, and on the newness. And I am always amused by the culture, but who wouldn't be. I am starting to see how much I adore children too. Don't get me wrong, I knew I enjoyed kids, but I thought that was only from always trying to make money. Boy was I wrong. I get such a joy from see new life and God's beautiful creation. It makes my day.
I'll keep searching for what God wants in my life, but I know that kids and languages are two of my greatest passions. And of course being in the center of God's will is the biggest goal I have, and not only being there, but staying there also.
So, so far in this journey: it's Jesus, then kids, and then languages. My three greatest passions. And now I just need to get after things, and finish homework from last week. (I was sick. Don't think I was just slacking.) The Lord is the God of the Universe. He sustains me even when I don't think He's here. How cool is that! He shows us what we need, when we need it, and strips us clean of all the unneccesary things in our life. And He takes us to different places to show us what He wants our lives to be about.
Taking His LOVE with me everywhere I go,
Michelle.
I'm okay with sounding crazy. I'm okay if you think I'm completely loonely, but the fact of the matter is this: I love that I can for the most part understand a language. Adore it actually. Maybe when I come back home I will not only continue my journey in the German language, but maybe start a new voyage with Spanish. It is a world language also, and then maybe I'll move on to Chinese.....haha. Just kidding. I want to master the German language first, and then move slowly into Spanish. And all I have to do to make Spanish fluent is go to Texas for a little while. Bahahaha. (Just kidding....kind of.)
I know for sure with two months here that international relations is my calling. I thrive on this, and on the newness. And I am always amused by the culture, but who wouldn't be. I am starting to see how much I adore children too. Don't get me wrong, I knew I enjoyed kids, but I thought that was only from always trying to make money. Boy was I wrong. I get such a joy from see new life and God's beautiful creation. It makes my day.
I'll keep searching for what God wants in my life, but I know that kids and languages are two of my greatest passions. And of course being in the center of God's will is the biggest goal I have, and not only being there, but staying there also.
So, so far in this journey: it's Jesus, then kids, and then languages. My three greatest passions. And now I just need to get after things, and finish homework from last week. (I was sick. Don't think I was just slacking.) The Lord is the God of the Universe. He sustains me even when I don't think He's here. How cool is that! He shows us what we need, when we need it, and strips us clean of all the unneccesary things in our life. And He takes us to different places to show us what He wants our lives to be about.
Taking His LOVE with me everywhere I go,
Michelle.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
You live in Deutschland.
I have to say many times I have been discouraged, but never as discouraged as this week has left me, and when the going gets tough....I still have confidence in the Savior and lover of my soul. I have the confidence to say that I still love Him. And not only that, but that He is still moving in my life.
I haven't written this week partly out of being apathetic, and partly out of not having the time...and partly out of quite frankly being completely lazy. I'm not at all sorry for that. I'm not sorry that I am human, and that I get tired.
I wasn't in my Word this week as much as I would like, and I can say I have personally suffered the consquences. Every time I would open my Bible it would be over idols, and even in teeny it was about living only for the Lord. I knew that I had a problem because, honestly, I didn't want to be in my Word. I hated reading it because everytime that I did, it made me squirm like a little kid two years old who has to go to the bathroom really bad and can't hold it.
So a day that I had been counting down to for quite a few days was finally here, and was all that I hoped it would be. Well to a certain extent. Instead of being completely focussed on why the Lord has brought me here, I was focused on other things. And I got hit upside the head with the most famous question I have had this week which is, "Do you believe in God?" And the next one to follow, "Are you religious?"
After being asked if I believed in God yesterday, the lady looked me straight into the eye and told me, "I believe we came from monkeys." My heart was completely broken. And then I was asked if I believed in that "Adam and Eve" crap. I was really excited though because at this ladies house we were going to watch American television, and then I remembered why I stopped watching so much American television. It's absolutely filthy. I was discouraged by what I was seeing and hearing, how I was acting and coveting things I didn't need, and on top of that just how dark this country really is set into my heart and head.
Last night I think I cried myself to sleep for the better part of an hour. Even today I can say that I wanted to give up, and just throw my towel in. Not go home, but just not worry about why I was called to be here and that is to love every person I encounter. I have hated my calling, and tonight asked why this was my calling.
I woke up this morning and went to a church in Lage, where Caroline goes which is where i attend teeny also. It was a blessing. We were in Romans chapter 5 verse 18. Which shocklingly is about Jesus and Adam. Read it. It'll blow your mind. The pastor said, while looking directly at me, "When someone asks you what you believe in, you don't say Adam. He doesn't always provide you with what you need. But you say, Jesus." Of course this really touched my heart.
So then I was coming in the house when Rolf told me that I have a girl coming to visit me from the organization. The only girl that I knew was close was Kate, who is also a fellow believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. And sure enough I was cleaning my bathroom when I saw the car pull up, with my beautiful Kate sitting in the front seat. I was stunned.
So in the midst of absolute discouragement, not being able to contact people from home, and the like... God provided me with everything I needed. A morning of correction of what to say I believe in. A time of encouragement from a fellow believer in Christ that I have known longer than 3 weeks. And a time to get rid of my "idol".
Then after all of that, He still provided something great. People here who love me, and will let me cry and tell them that I just need to talk. Rolf mustered with everything he could, "I love you, Spunky." And honestly that is EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. I still wish it could have been from that knight in shining armor I call, Daddy. But you know, I know that my dad is always there for me. What I didn't know was that I have people here in Germany that love me too.
My calling is not in vain, and even though sometimes I feel as though I should give up. I shouldn't keep going, God proves me wrong. He gives me early birthday presents with lots of lessons inside. My calling is to go where ever the Lord leads me, and to love every person I come in contact with. I know that I will not ALWAYS be loved in return. I was never promised that, but what I have learned is God knows what we absolutley need. I needed love; verbal reasurrance that I could hear of love. And the Lord took care of that by giving me a Rolf and a Doris.
The Lord is good.
My name is Michelle Engelke, and Jesus Christ is my Savior. He satisfies my soul.
I haven't written this week partly out of being apathetic, and partly out of not having the time...and partly out of quite frankly being completely lazy. I'm not at all sorry for that. I'm not sorry that I am human, and that I get tired.
I wasn't in my Word this week as much as I would like, and I can say I have personally suffered the consquences. Every time I would open my Bible it would be over idols, and even in teeny it was about living only for the Lord. I knew that I had a problem because, honestly, I didn't want to be in my Word. I hated reading it because everytime that I did, it made me squirm like a little kid two years old who has to go to the bathroom really bad and can't hold it.
So a day that I had been counting down to for quite a few days was finally here, and was all that I hoped it would be. Well to a certain extent. Instead of being completely focussed on why the Lord has brought me here, I was focused on other things. And I got hit upside the head with the most famous question I have had this week which is, "Do you believe in God?" And the next one to follow, "Are you religious?"
After being asked if I believed in God yesterday, the lady looked me straight into the eye and told me, "I believe we came from monkeys." My heart was completely broken. And then I was asked if I believed in that "Adam and Eve" crap. I was really excited though because at this ladies house we were going to watch American television, and then I remembered why I stopped watching so much American television. It's absolutely filthy. I was discouraged by what I was seeing and hearing, how I was acting and coveting things I didn't need, and on top of that just how dark this country really is set into my heart and head.
Last night I think I cried myself to sleep for the better part of an hour. Even today I can say that I wanted to give up, and just throw my towel in. Not go home, but just not worry about why I was called to be here and that is to love every person I encounter. I have hated my calling, and tonight asked why this was my calling.
I woke up this morning and went to a church in Lage, where Caroline goes which is where i attend teeny also. It was a blessing. We were in Romans chapter 5 verse 18. Which shocklingly is about Jesus and Adam. Read it. It'll blow your mind. The pastor said, while looking directly at me, "When someone asks you what you believe in, you don't say Adam. He doesn't always provide you with what you need. But you say, Jesus." Of course this really touched my heart.
So then I was coming in the house when Rolf told me that I have a girl coming to visit me from the organization. The only girl that I knew was close was Kate, who is also a fellow believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. And sure enough I was cleaning my bathroom when I saw the car pull up, with my beautiful Kate sitting in the front seat. I was stunned.
So in the midst of absolute discouragement, not being able to contact people from home, and the like... God provided me with everything I needed. A morning of correction of what to say I believe in. A time of encouragement from a fellow believer in Christ that I have known longer than 3 weeks. And a time to get rid of my "idol".
Then after all of that, He still provided something great. People here who love me, and will let me cry and tell them that I just need to talk. Rolf mustered with everything he could, "I love you, Spunky." And honestly that is EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. I still wish it could have been from that knight in shining armor I call, Daddy. But you know, I know that my dad is always there for me. What I didn't know was that I have people here in Germany that love me too.
My calling is not in vain, and even though sometimes I feel as though I should give up. I shouldn't keep going, God proves me wrong. He gives me early birthday presents with lots of lessons inside. My calling is to go where ever the Lord leads me, and to love every person I come in contact with. I know that I will not ALWAYS be loved in return. I was never promised that, but what I have learned is God knows what we absolutley need. I needed love; verbal reasurrance that I could hear of love. And the Lord took care of that by giving me a Rolf and a Doris.
The Lord is good.
My name is Michelle Engelke, and Jesus Christ is my Savior. He satisfies my soul.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Lead me to your heart.
There I will be satisfied. There only. "Rid me of myself, I belong to you. Lead me to the cross!"
"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." -Psalm 4:7
There is something wonderful in hearing that you are beautiful and have no flaw from anyone really. But it's never enough from just a person. Friends tell you all the time that you are beautfiul. That your hair looks good, that you look cute, oder so.
But when you hear that from your Creator... there is nothing more satisfying. It's love; pure love. It's a cry from my heart deep inside that I long to hear. I have gained weight. My clothes don't fit very well. My skin is a face full of nastiness. Make-up doesn't cover all the blemishes. And still in the midst of that, in the midst of me being human and having blemishes and weight gain my God still finds me "beautiful with no flaw."
There is something great waiting for this city. I believe that with all of my heart. "Greater things have yet to come from Lage, Germany." My heart is overwhelmed with how beautiful the Lord is in this place.
Praise God for who He is. For the way he really does have our world in the palm of His hands.
Living this journey
-Michelle.
"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." -Psalm 4:7
There is something wonderful in hearing that you are beautiful and have no flaw from anyone really. But it's never enough from just a person. Friends tell you all the time that you are beautfiul. That your hair looks good, that you look cute, oder so.
But when you hear that from your Creator... there is nothing more satisfying. It's love; pure love. It's a cry from my heart deep inside that I long to hear. I have gained weight. My clothes don't fit very well. My skin is a face full of nastiness. Make-up doesn't cover all the blemishes. And still in the midst of that, in the midst of me being human and having blemishes and weight gain my God still finds me "beautiful with no flaw."
There is something great waiting for this city. I believe that with all of my heart. "Greater things have yet to come from Lage, Germany." My heart is overwhelmed with how beautiful the Lord is in this place.
Praise God for who He is. For the way he really does have our world in the palm of His hands.
Living this journey
-Michelle.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A little glimpse of Heaven tonight.
You see I went to youth group (Teenie) tonight with my friend from school, Caro. (She is total sweetness..) I know makes no sense. Sorry.
Anywho, back to the moral of the story. (sorry bubs) Okay. I go into this church, and all these youth kids are hanging out just like the amis would back home. Wie toll. Caro sings in the youth band, but she warned me that tonight was all auf Deutsch. I was fine with that. And then I heard the sound of a gutaare, and a voice say please stand. Such a beautiful thing. But the most beautiful part was when I heard what song we were singing. As I have just heard the song tonight in German, I of course sang auf English.
Where is the glimpse of Heaven in this?
You see when we are in Heaven we will all be together. All the different nations in their native tounge singing praises to God. It was just as Heaven you see. I in my native tounge, and they in theirs.
Where is the blessing?
The blessing was just being in Germany, a nation cold to the heartbeat of God, and still seeing that He moves here too. That there are people here just as in USA who are called to the ministry, and who radiate the Lord's presence from across the school yard. The blessing is here a forgien language ( my second language) sung in praises to my, no our God. The blessing is not having words to tell you the blessing of it all. The blessing is understanding all of the sermon in German. The blessing surrounds me, but I can't convey it to you.
,,Jedes Wort von Die Bibel ist richtig. Kein mehr. Kein weniger. " -Joachim Klotz
"God is within her, she will not fall. God will help her at break of day." -Psalm 46:5
"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 45:10
"Don't be afraid to stand out. That's how the lost get found... There's a really big world at your finger tips, and you know you can change it." -Britt Nicol.
Anywho, back to the moral of the story. (sorry bubs) Okay. I go into this church, and all these youth kids are hanging out just like the amis would back home. Wie toll. Caro sings in the youth band, but she warned me that tonight was all auf Deutsch. I was fine with that. And then I heard the sound of a gutaare, and a voice say please stand. Such a beautiful thing. But the most beautiful part was when I heard what song we were singing. As I have just heard the song tonight in German, I of course sang auf English.
Where is the glimpse of Heaven in this?
You see when we are in Heaven we will all be together. All the different nations in their native tounge singing praises to God. It was just as Heaven you see. I in my native tounge, and they in theirs.
Where is the blessing?
The blessing was just being in Germany, a nation cold to the heartbeat of God, and still seeing that He moves here too. That there are people here just as in USA who are called to the ministry, and who radiate the Lord's presence from across the school yard. The blessing is here a forgien language ( my second language) sung in praises to my, no our God. The blessing is not having words to tell you the blessing of it all. The blessing is understanding all of the sermon in German. The blessing surrounds me, but I can't convey it to you.
,,Jedes Wort von Die Bibel ist richtig. Kein mehr. Kein weniger. " -Joachim Klotz
"God is within her, she will not fall. God will help her at break of day." -Psalm 46:5
"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 45:10
"Don't be afraid to stand out. That's how the lost get found... There's a really big world at your finger tips, and you know you can change it." -Britt Nicol.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Michelle, du musst nach der Stunde heir bleiben.
Ah man! I didn't say anything in class.... am I in trouble because I didn't respond to the teacher, and the class discussion? Am I going to be told I need to get in gear? Am I not trying hard enough? I WANT to say things in class, but I don't exactly know what or how to convey what I am thinking. Oh my heart is racing, and my thoughts are running. Oh, Lord, please be with me.
So why exactly are you here? Are you just what? You need grades or not? And then in perfect English he decided to tell me if I need help, just say wait I didn't understand what you just said. This is my Religion teacher. I really like this guy.
He then went on to ask me if I could in a couple months or so give a presentation on the religious aspect in America. What is the norm....my religion, and all I can think of that defines America's religious views. And then he told me that I could do this assignment in English. It was so so cool.
Then he told me that I would have to speak on the slower side beacause they learn britsh english not american english, and i promise you there is a difference. So he was telling me this,and he said actually i am an english teacher. and here in gymnasium you only have one year of american english and that is the 8th grade. then the truth was revealed....! He is a english teacher for the 8th grade!!! Whoooo. :) And he then asked if i was interested if i could come into his class during my free time, and just talk to his class about america.
I am radiating with just God's hand holding my life. He put me in that class with that teacher, who use to be a pastor, and I can share my faith with a class of 28 people. So freaking cool! Can't wait for updates with this one.
Doris made pflaam kuchen! My faveeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Tschüss. :)
So why exactly are you here? Are you just what? You need grades or not? And then in perfect English he decided to tell me if I need help, just say wait I didn't understand what you just said. This is my Religion teacher. I really like this guy.
He then went on to ask me if I could in a couple months or so give a presentation on the religious aspect in America. What is the norm....my religion, and all I can think of that defines America's religious views. And then he told me that I could do this assignment in English. It was so so cool.
Then he told me that I would have to speak on the slower side beacause they learn britsh english not american english, and i promise you there is a difference. So he was telling me this,and he said actually i am an english teacher. and here in gymnasium you only have one year of american english and that is the 8th grade. then the truth was revealed....! He is a english teacher for the 8th grade!!! Whoooo. :) And he then asked if i was interested if i could come into his class during my free time, and just talk to his class about america.
I am radiating with just God's hand holding my life. He put me in that class with that teacher, who use to be a pastor, and I can share my faith with a class of 28 people. So freaking cool! Can't wait for updates with this one.
Doris made pflaam kuchen! My faveeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Tschüss. :)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I tried to tell everyone this would happen before I left.
I'm am sorry if I seem to be short with any of you from back home. It is not anything intentional. My responding shortly in few words was, in my thought process, better than not responding at all. So to remind you, I have 10 classes. Between three and four per day, and that isn't three or four like in America. That is double periods of everything that I have every day. And then I go home, and eat lunch. Where we then sit down with Oma and Opa for coffe or something. Then Maike and I begin or homework which because there is a thick language barrier I take a while longer doing easy assignments. On Tuesdays we then go from one place to another for music school, and choir. On Wednesdays and Mondays I tend to ride bikes and talk with Doris. It our way of bonding. And then on Thursdays I go to orchestra with Maike. Friday I do my own thing and go to Choir at the school. And then I hang out with friends, or we go somewhere as a family.
I again appologize that I have been short, but you have to bear with me. I am in a forgein country with a headache daily because I am trying so hard to understand things that I don't understand yet. You try having the equivilant of Holifield -Scotts class in German. Or for you Germans who might be reading this...everything you know...trying doing it English. I promise you think it's easy. But it's harder than it looks.
I know Rome wasn't built in a day, but you also have to realize that I am trying really hard to balance what is enough time corresponding in the broken English I have, and what is better for my head not to hurt here. Believe it or not, going back and forth from German to English or English to German right now gives me serious headaches. Sometimes I can't even convey how I feel.
But right now, I am astonished even though I said and said and said and said and said....(see how redunant that sentence is becoming?) and said and said that my correspondence back would be slim that you are acting like I should be calling and writing long messages every day. I am sorry that I can't sit down and write everyone. Or you everyday. But FYI, I don't message dad every day and have only spoken with him three times since I have been gone. I have responsibitly here just like I did in the States. I help with dishes, and watering the flowers, and doing hedges, and vaccuuming and whatever is asked that I can do to help.
Again I apologize, but I have plenty of stress here with trying to learn a new language. All of this will be worth it in the end, and me talking and thinking so much in English is hurting my head. I need sleep because I haven't slept well for a few nights. I do enjoy it here, and in the end it's like i told Rolf. All of the stress and frustrtation i have in school right now will be worth it at midyear when I can understand a complete siminar in German.
I have people here that I never would've met if i was here now. I am thankful for this new extention in my family. For the friendship(s) i am making, and for what the Lord is doing in my heart. But please understand why the blogs aren't long and why my emails are short. I am tired, and my days are long. Forgive me for this tagent also. It was needed; I really think that.
I again appologize that I have been short, but you have to bear with me. I am in a forgein country with a headache daily because I am trying so hard to understand things that I don't understand yet. You try having the equivilant of Holifield -Scotts class in German. Or for you Germans who might be reading this...everything you know...trying doing it English. I promise you think it's easy. But it's harder than it looks.
I know Rome wasn't built in a day, but you also have to realize that I am trying really hard to balance what is enough time corresponding in the broken English I have, and what is better for my head not to hurt here. Believe it or not, going back and forth from German to English or English to German right now gives me serious headaches. Sometimes I can't even convey how I feel.
But right now, I am astonished even though I said and said and said and said and said....(see how redunant that sentence is becoming?) and said and said that my correspondence back would be slim that you are acting like I should be calling and writing long messages every day. I am sorry that I can't sit down and write everyone. Or you everyday. But FYI, I don't message dad every day and have only spoken with him three times since I have been gone. I have responsibitly here just like I did in the States. I help with dishes, and watering the flowers, and doing hedges, and vaccuuming and whatever is asked that I can do to help.
Again I apologize, but I have plenty of stress here with trying to learn a new language. All of this will be worth it in the end, and me talking and thinking so much in English is hurting my head. I need sleep because I haven't slept well for a few nights. I do enjoy it here, and in the end it's like i told Rolf. All of the stress and frustrtation i have in school right now will be worth it at midyear when I can understand a complete siminar in German.
I have people here that I never would've met if i was here now. I am thankful for this new extention in my family. For the friendship(s) i am making, and for what the Lord is doing in my heart. But please understand why the blogs aren't long and why my emails are short. I am tired, and my days are long. Forgive me for this tagent also. It was needed; I really think that.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
A few thousand miles away, and a few hours between.
"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.
A good day. Cold, but good. My coat isnt going to work. Ins Bett jetzt!
Talked to cristan, chad and the boys. everyone looked good! miss all.
I loveee this place. so pretty. :)
Bis bald.
A good day. Cold, but good. My coat isnt going to work. Ins Bett jetzt!
Talked to cristan, chad and the boys. everyone looked good! miss all.
I loveee this place. so pretty. :)
Bis bald.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Lord, please be near.
I am doing well. Just about to call it a night. I rode my bike back to school today for my first choir class. woo. I felt like a hoss. Made it there in 15 minutes, but then it would be my luck for it to start raining on me when I started for home.
Hahaha. Mom Doris made Terimisu for dessert. And Maike made something that was devine. :)
I am now about to go to bed. I'm really not sure of what to tell you that is happening here. I have friends. And I am in two choirs, about to start flute lessons at the music school, and orchestra next week. So needless to say i'll be a busy child.
I wrote my first essay this week. That was fun. Really. no sarcasm there. Going to a birthday shindig tomorrow. And then sunday i have no clue. I will see about that later.
Must get some sleep. Bis spaeter. :)
Hahaha. Mom Doris made Terimisu for dessert. And Maike made something that was devine. :)
I am now about to go to bed. I'm really not sure of what to tell you that is happening here. I have friends. And I am in two choirs, about to start flute lessons at the music school, and orchestra next week. So needless to say i'll be a busy child.
I wrote my first essay this week. That was fun. Really. no sarcasm there. Going to a birthday shindig tomorrow. And then sunday i have no clue. I will see about that later.
Must get some sleep. Bis spaeter. :)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The unisversity is done.
Hello all.
I went to my last day of university today, and we learn about bibliographies and essays. To my fellow seniors at SHS: Does this sound anything like Holi-Scott's class? hahaha. It was great. And for the record, it was an analaysis.
All in German. Night to all. :)
I went to my last day of university today, and we learn about bibliographies and essays. To my fellow seniors at SHS: Does this sound anything like Holi-Scott's class? hahaha. It was great. And for the record, it was an analaysis.
All in German. Night to all. :)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Don't persue me.
I don't want anything, but to live it up here. To show love, be loved, and have a ,,gutes Jahr" with my girls: Cossie, Caro, and Maike. Then of course the rents: Rolf and Doris.
I love life here. Today being in the university was very hard. I had to memorize one page of a German poem then recite it, and after being at a siminar from 8-5 the last thing I personally wanted to do was memorize something. My head was hurting and turning in circles. But I managed to get a few lines memorized, and then today when my teacher asked me to recite it, I completely froze. I said the wrong words, make the wrong gestures, and everyone laughed.
I stayed cool until I didn't know the difference between push and pull in german, and there was a kid that kept telling me i was wrong after i realize the door was not opening. And then I just had to walk away. I wanted to cried, but the most beautiful thing happened.
I was walking in with Cossie to some dumb room for some guy to say something I didn't know, when Caro who practiced with me this poem, stopped and asked me how everything went. I told her, and she said it is nicht slimm which is like don't worry about it. it happens. Then when she realized that i was really bothered she grabbed me in the hall before our group hug, and the gave me the biggest hug. She said your german is getting better everyday. And then went on to tell me that i was standing by her in the picture.
I want to tell you that i am in a choir with my family and i love it. tonight we sang beautiful by christine agulara. hahahaha. so fun. and the german ladies there had me rolling on the floor laughing and me to them also. It was a good day full of learning. Like I go nach Hause and maike was zu hause. little things.
It was just an encouraging night for a frustrating day in the university. In the morning, I am going to try this university again. I must go into the bed. I will see you all soon. I wrote a note today also.
And my shoes smell awful. Enjoy your day, and remember that God can use people to impact your life even if they aren't living for Him. And he can show you love by people better in every day situations that aren't huge. Just hugging someone who wants to give up, or giving them a new start when you don't understand what they are saying. What ever it is, let God use you with whatever it is He wants to use you for.
People are there in your life maybe not for you to teach them a lesson, but for you to learn a lesson, oder? Music is a stress reliver. Not the ipod, but piano and my flute and singing. I have come to fall in love with the sounds that they make.
The Lord Jesus Christ is the savior of my soul. I praise Him for the encouragement I recieve through Americans, Germans, emails, Scripture, and from nature. I am honored to say that I happy so happy, and I love it here. Love it. Bis Bald.
-Michelle.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
If you think that plucking your eyebrows hurts, then you should try plucking your big toe hairs.
Now that hurts! ...Not speaking from experience or anything. Oh, alright, you know that I am a strange child, and this was from experience. Haha.
So I didn't think that it was at all possible to love someone before you met them, and it's a very real thing. When I met Tine for the first time at the Bonnhoff I threw my arms around her, just as she did to me. I was the coolest thing, and she asked me how I was and just grabbed my hand and took me under her wing. Every time that I tried to answer in English the first day I was here or any day after I heard her say, "nur Deutsch." Which translates to "only German."
I was a little bit overwhelmed with only German all the time, but I can't begin to tell you the beauty of this sentence. I had "Beautiful you" by Jonny Diaz in my head this same day, and I was singing as always do, and she said "Ein schönes Lied" or a pretty song. As the week went on she just became more and more beautiful to me.
She held me hand as we went into a school that I did not know, and made sure to reassure me that I looked good and schick. She helped me set up my German facebook, and we sat in front of a computer listening to music for a while. When we went to get my schedule made she basically told the teacher in charge that it was a total doof for me to take any language other than German. So the only language course I have is indeed German.
When people asked me if I could speak German she reassured them and me that I could ,,Gut Deutsch sprachen und verstanden." My heart has been so blessed because of this young lady who truely is a beautiful young lady. She will always been my BEAUTIFUL little sister, and I will always be impacted by her life.
So anyway, with that said, I felt that she needed to hear that song by Mr. Diaz, but we have had a lot of company which I completely understand. So I waited until right before I started writing this entry, and took my computer to her room and said come, you need to hear this Lied. So we sat down, and Maike came in just in time to hear it too. She said she could somewhat understand the song.
And we both started crying when it said, ,,There could NEVER be a MORE BEAUTIFUL YOU!" We made eye contact and all three of us started crying. Then we sat on Tines couch and just cried. The three sisters all holding eachother, hand in hand, with Jonny Diaz singing over us there could never be a more beautiful you.
I really dont think my purpose here is to impact as much as it is to be impacted. I know I am suppose to shine my light, but I have never known a love like that of a sister this close to my age, or two who are younger than me. They teach me daily in not only German, but in doing things for each other or in making me feel like part of the family.
Opa is included in the previous statement. He just looked over at me and asked me to go with him and Juli, our dog, for a walk. He took me and just talked to me, and explain what things were and it was just a beautiful as with Tine. And everytime we are all together for coffee which is almost everyday, he tells the girls to slow down.
God has blessed my heart with these people, and I pray that we do become family over the next year. Where they my like and dislikes as well as I know theirs. I don not think I have words in German yet or English anymore for the way I feel.
Psalm 139:13-14
I can tell you that I am seeing the love of God through these people by them just letting me stay with them, and going out of their way to make sure my eightteenth birthday is beautiful. They told me I could invite people over or out, and we would go as a family. They buy me the things that they know that I enjoying drinking or eating. It is beautiful.
To Tine:
God created your inmost being,
He knitted you together in your moms womb,
Praise the Lord because you were FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made.
Psalm
Friday, August 21, 2009
Ich liebe dieses Leben.
I really am having a great time here in this new place. I have an absolutely wonderful family, and they are so sweet teaching me how to speak, and being patient when i can't think of the words that i am trying to say in German.
They are very go with the flow, but always punctual. It's really neat. They are like take a shower when you want. Do this or that. And they ask me what are you doing in your free period not you have to do this. It's neat.
I figure I would feel you in on how the German school day goes. Now know that my schedule is not as hard as the other kids because my main focus is understanding the courses that I am taking, and that doesn't look hard when you see my schedule, but please remember all of my text books and lectures and even small talk in between classes are in German. And the most famous question right now is "Can she understand me?" Hahahah. I just laugh when they say that and then they say, "yes she can."
We have "A week" and "B week" here. Bare with me, this is a bit hard to explain, but I am going to try. Okay, these are my two schedules:
A Week:
Monday:
1 and 2 period: Religion
3 and 4 period: Math
5 and 6 period: Musik
7: Free period for lunch
8 and 9 period: History
Tuesday:
1. & 2. : German
3. & 4. : Musik
5. & 6. History
My day is over. (Schluss)
Wednesday:
1. & 2.: Pädagogik (I think this is similar to our psyc.)
3/4 Religion
5/6 Biology
Schluss
Thurday:
1/2 Sport
3/4 Double period free.
5/6 Chemistry
Schluss
Friday:
1/2 Free
3/4 Pädagogik
5/6/7 Free
8/9 Sport
B Week:
Montag:
1/2 Politics
3/4 Math
5/6 German
7 lunch
8/9 Biology
Dienstag:
1/2 German
3/4 Musik
5/6 History
7 Mittagessen
8/9 Math
Mittwoch:
1/2 Free
3/4 Reli
5/6 Bio
7 lunch
8/9 Chemi
Donnerstag:
1/2 Sport
3/4 Politiks
5/6 Chemie
Friday
3/4 p
They are very go with the flow, but always punctual. It's really neat. They are like take a shower when you want. Do this or that. And they ask me what are you doing in your free period not you have to do this. It's neat.
I figure I would feel you in on how the German school day goes. Now know that my schedule is not as hard as the other kids because my main focus is understanding the courses that I am taking, and that doesn't look hard when you see my schedule, but please remember all of my text books and lectures and even small talk in between classes are in German. And the most famous question right now is "Can she understand me?" Hahahah. I just laugh when they say that and then they say, "yes she can."
We have "A week" and "B week" here. Bare with me, this is a bit hard to explain, but I am going to try. Okay, these are my two schedules:
A Week:
Monday:
1 and 2 period: Religion
3 and 4 period: Math
5 and 6 period: Musik
7: Free period for lunch
8 and 9 period: History
Tuesday:
1. & 2. : German
3. & 4. : Musik
5. & 6. History
My day is over. (Schluss)
Wednesday:
1. & 2.: Pädagogik (I think this is similar to our psyc.)
3/4 Religion
5/6 Biology
Schluss
Thurday:
1/2 Sport
3/4 Double period free.
5/6 Chemistry
Schluss
Friday:
1/2 Free
3/4 Pädagogik
5/6/7 Free
8/9 Sport
B Week:
Montag:
1/2 Politics
3/4 Math
5/6 German
7 lunch
8/9 Biology
Dienstag:
1/2 German
3/4 Musik
5/6 History
7 Mittagessen
8/9 Math
Mittwoch:
1/2 Free
3/4 Reli
5/6 Bio
7 lunch
8/9 Chemi
Donnerstag:
1/2 Sport
3/4 Politiks
5/6 Chemie
Friday
3/4 p
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
:)
another dday and i feel like i am getting better with my german and with my time here. tomorrow i go to school with out tine, but i think i will be okay.
i had choir tonight and i loved it.
and we rode our bikes to the market
and then we ate
and the choir
and now i must sleep.
altough my head was hurting earlier it was a good day. praise GOD!
i had choir tonight and i loved it.
and we rode our bikes to the market
and then we ate
and the choir
and now i must sleep.
altough my head was hurting earlier it was a good day. praise GOD!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Du bist nicht ein Austausschulerin aus Amerkia, oder?
Hahaha. Christine and I went to get my studentplan and these girls were like hey tine and said nothing to me and then when i walked back out obviously she said something to them. haha. They were like you are from amerkia?
and then we talked for a while. for all you back home, i got out of school today at 10:30 am. haha. I have 10 classes which is the minimum, and i have no english class whatsoever. what else?
I know the difference between verstauchen: to sprain, verstehen: to understand. haha. my lieblingswurt is ja...and i really do feel like i am part of this family and i keep trying to better my german daily.
Tine helps with that because the first thing people ask is can we talk to her in english and she says no only german. and then when herr menkle tried to put me in spanish she said no she must learn german first.
i am able to have full conversations with them and i meant to tell you that this year i am working on be confident and i played my flute with sax music for tine and maike and they loved it. i am going to learn piano if i can since we have one here at the house and i have always wanted to.
hmmm. i need to go to bed because i did not sleep well last night., i forgot to tell you that i had to stand in front of the entire 11 klasse and introduce myself and of course they thought it was cool that i had a horrible accent.
haha.
ich liebe diese Leben.
and then we talked for a while. for all you back home, i got out of school today at 10:30 am. haha. I have 10 classes which is the minimum, and i have no english class whatsoever. what else?
I know the difference between verstauchen: to sprain, verstehen: to understand. haha. my lieblingswurt is ja...and i really do feel like i am part of this family and i keep trying to better my german daily.
Tine helps with that because the first thing people ask is can we talk to her in english and she says no only german. and then when herr menkle tried to put me in spanish she said no she must learn german first.
i am able to have full conversations with them and i meant to tell you that this year i am working on be confident and i played my flute with sax music for tine and maike and they loved it. i am going to learn piano if i can since we have one here at the house and i have always wanted to.
hmmm. i need to go to bed because i did not sleep well last night., i forgot to tell you that i had to stand in front of the entire 11 klasse and introduce myself and of course they thought it was cool that i had a horrible accent.
haha.
ich liebe diese Leben.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Michelle ist da!
I'm finally at home, and honestly I am having trouble remembering words in english and how to type in english so i just turned my computer keyboard to german. it makes my life easier. I met my mom and dad and sisters today and tomorrow christian will come.
It is really funny today because when Rolf und Doris und Tine came to get me, me and tine sat in the back seat and sang all these crazy songs that we learned from experiment. hahaha. i loved it and then when we learned of the talent show that we both did we discussed what it was the each of us performed and the funniest thing was that we both did the Hoe down thrown down by miley cirus. hahaha. it was so funny. we got up during dinner and showed mom and dad how it went.
And before dinner we had our first bike ride together and then we got on the internet and she helped me set up my german facebook thing. it was pretty dang cool. I loved tonight. It was most definitely cool.
Talked to mom, dad, and janet today. Alles klar? Ich hoffe, dass es ist. Ich muss schlafen. Gute nacht. :)
It is really funny today because when Rolf und Doris und Tine came to get me, me and tine sat in the back seat and sang all these crazy songs that we learned from experiment. hahaha. i loved it and then when we learned of the talent show that we both did we discussed what it was the each of us performed and the funniest thing was that we both did the Hoe down thrown down by miley cirus. hahaha. it was so funny. we got up during dinner and showed mom and dad how it went.
And before dinner we had our first bike ride together and then we got on the internet and she helped me set up my german facebook thing. it was pretty dang cool. I loved tonight. It was most definitely cool.
Talked to mom, dad, and janet today. Alles klar? Ich hoffe, dass es ist. Ich muss schlafen. Gute nacht. :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
Liebe Michelle,
This is something that is really important to you... well me. Is it still just as important? Did your dreams come true? Was this all that you hoped it would be? Did you stay true to yourself?
Liebe Grüße,
Michelle 14.08.2009
Today the small group ,,challenge" was to write ourselves a letter that we will get back at re-entry. You know what this makes me think of? Mrs. Avant's letters that I've got to wait a whole nother year for. Blehhhhh! I haven't even thought about those letters until now. Haha. I hope I forget about this one too until I get it back out of no where at Re-entry.
Class today was absolutely amazing. I did pass my test, but that is basically all that I did. But I was reminded once again to remember that I only had 2 years of German before this and everyone's grades were fairly low. Not like awful, but we all wanted better numbers at the bottom of our papers.
We listened to German party music, and I do have to say it's the best especially if you translate it and then you listen to it. Hahaha. It's so funny to listen for certain lines when you do this. And you understand the meaning of it which makes it even funnier. While we listened to music, we play twister in German. Wir haben spaß gehabt! For real it was the funniest thing, and we took lots of pictures. So you will get to see them soon.
After listening to music, and playing twister and going over tests, we watch Harry Potter 5 in German with German subtiles. I left that room with such a headache, and I tried to email someone in English and I couldn't think of the right English word or make the grammar work right. Sorry about that. It was pretty funny though because in a really quiet part of the movie I hiccuped and Maik chimmed in, ,,Michelle, who is thinking about you and kissing someone else?" I told him to can it. :)
Um... we took small group, wohnung, and class pictures today, and it was fun but a little sad. I love these people. I got one of the coolest pictures with Sensai Maik and Beautiful Kath. (I wrote this on every evaluation sheet.) Teamer: Beautiful Kath. Teacher: Sensai Maik. Bahahahahah.
Hmmmm. I need to go help my roomies clean because we have clean check. Tots got to get off so Katy can get on. Later, guys! :)
Liebe Grüße,
Michelle 14.08.2009
Today the small group ,,challenge" was to write ourselves a letter that we will get back at re-entry. You know what this makes me think of? Mrs. Avant's letters that I've got to wait a whole nother year for. Blehhhhh! I haven't even thought about those letters until now. Haha. I hope I forget about this one too until I get it back out of no where at Re-entry.
Class today was absolutely amazing. I did pass my test, but that is basically all that I did. But I was reminded once again to remember that I only had 2 years of German before this and everyone's grades were fairly low. Not like awful, but we all wanted better numbers at the bottom of our papers.
We listened to German party music, and I do have to say it's the best especially if you translate it and then you listen to it. Hahaha. It's so funny to listen for certain lines when you do this. And you understand the meaning of it which makes it even funnier. While we listened to music, we play twister in German. Wir haben spaß gehabt! For real it was the funniest thing, and we took lots of pictures. So you will get to see them soon.
After listening to music, and playing twister and going over tests, we watch Harry Potter 5 in German with German subtiles. I left that room with such a headache, and I tried to email someone in English and I couldn't think of the right English word or make the grammar work right. Sorry about that. It was pretty funny though because in a really quiet part of the movie I hiccuped and Maik chimmed in, ,,Michelle, who is thinking about you and kissing someone else?" I told him to can it. :)
Um... we took small group, wohnung, and class pictures today, and it was fun but a little sad. I love these people. I got one of the coolest pictures with Sensai Maik and Beautiful Kath. (I wrote this on every evaluation sheet.) Teamer: Beautiful Kath. Teacher: Sensai Maik. Bahahahahah.
Hmmmm. I need to go help my roomies clean because we have clean check. Tots got to get off so Katy can get on. Later, guys! :)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
These three weeks are already gone?
Where did the time go? Possibly it ran back to America, or maybe it just went down to the Rhein. (That's a river.)
I really can't believe that in just a few days I will be saying good-bye to my Teamers, Teachers, and newest Friends. It's a bit surreal, and I have to say unexpected. I didn't think I'd become close to these people, and really that is exactly what I've done.
I think just like there is sometimes the craziest bond between Christ followers, that there are bonds between people going through the same things that no one will ever be able to convey in words. It's simply something you must experience first hand. But I do have to say these are friendships that I think will be fun to keep up with in the states.
And btdubs, two of these friends love the Lord with all their heart. We were talking, and I just think God is the coolest because they were on the waiting list, and I just happened to get in on the first try. It's just cool that God knew that the three of us would meet and be here with eachother to just love and encourage each other.
I can't explain it. But it's really neat.
I took my final test, and later today I'm watching Kebab Konnection with my class which by the way is a really cool German movie that I first saw in the States. So these are really movies that Germans watch.
I hope work, band, cheerleading, choir, and school are treating you all well. I start my real high school on monday. I just finished school here at the schloss. Well, I mean we do have class tomorrow, but it's just a fun day.
Oh and I mailed my luggage to my host family. Cool, huh? Just 13€. Beat that price. ;)
Liebe euch! :)
I really can't believe that in just a few days I will be saying good-bye to my Teamers, Teachers, and newest Friends. It's a bit surreal, and I have to say unexpected. I didn't think I'd become close to these people, and really that is exactly what I've done.
I think just like there is sometimes the craziest bond between Christ followers, that there are bonds between people going through the same things that no one will ever be able to convey in words. It's simply something you must experience first hand. But I do have to say these are friendships that I think will be fun to keep up with in the states.
And btdubs, two of these friends love the Lord with all their heart. We were talking, and I just think God is the coolest because they were on the waiting list, and I just happened to get in on the first try. It's just cool that God knew that the three of us would meet and be here with eachother to just love and encourage each other.
I can't explain it. But it's really neat.
I took my final test, and later today I'm watching Kebab Konnection with my class which by the way is a really cool German movie that I first saw in the States. So these are really movies that Germans watch.
I hope work, band, cheerleading, choir, and school are treating you all well. I start my real high school on monday. I just finished school here at the schloss. Well, I mean we do have class tomorrow, but it's just a fun day.
Oh and I mailed my luggage to my host family. Cool, huh? Just 13€. Beat that price. ;)
Liebe euch! :)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Best song in the entire world. :D
Fee!
(Fee!)
Fee Fi!
(fee fi!)
Fee fi fo!
(Fee fi fo!)
Commo la la commo la la commo la vista!
(commo la la commo la la commo la vista!)
Oh no no! No No la vista!
(Oh no no! No No la vista!)
Vista!
(Vista!)
Einie meanie twizy wennie ohah cowatchie meanie otchiecotchie comrarchie oh i oh!
(Einie meanie twizy wennie ohah cowatchie meanie otchiecotchie comrarchie oh i oh!)
Its been yotz cotz soll al comean doch so i al chhhhhhh!
(Its been yotz cotz soll al comean doch so i al chhhhhhh!)
Bick ba ba Luuuuz! Baba Luza Bingo!
(Bick ba ba Luuuuz! Baba Luza Bingo!)
I'll teach it to you if you let me, and you only get to hear the words. Never do you see them except for here. :)
(Fee!)
Fee Fi!
(fee fi!)
Fee fi fo!
(Fee fi fo!)
Commo la la commo la la commo la vista!
(commo la la commo la la commo la vista!)
Oh no no! No No la vista!
(Oh no no! No No la vista!)
Vista!
(Vista!)
Einie meanie twizy wennie ohah cowatchie meanie otchiecotchie comrarchie oh i oh!
(Einie meanie twizy wennie ohah cowatchie meanie otchiecotchie comrarchie oh i oh!)
Its been yotz cotz soll al comean doch so i al chhhhhhh!
(Its been yotz cotz soll al comean doch so i al chhhhhhh!)
Bick ba ba Luuuuz! Baba Luza Bingo!
(Bick ba ba Luuuuz! Baba Luza Bingo!)
I'll teach it to you if you let me, and you only get to hear the words. Never do you see them except for here. :)
Michael Jackson vest...I like it. :)
,,You should wear it on your first day of German school with a really short skirt and high heels." ....And you're on crack.
So yesterday I did my research presentation, but I didn't research at all. I just did it on my best friends. It was fun to show my new friends the people that I love. They were really cool about seeing your photos on my power point, and Maik told me ,,Es is sehr schön." It made my day for sure.
Things in class are so funny. We play so many games, and laugh at everything. And of course if someone messes up a word really badly everyone yells, ,,Du bist ein Epishe Fehrschlag!!!" (You're an epic failure.) It's sticks here in German too. We have a good time in class. It never fails that if you fall asleep that Maik will try to scare you, and the whole classes will be watching him do it.
We ate this keesh like substance thing. I'm not sure what it's really called, but it was pretty good. I just got full and couldn't eat anything else. I enjoyed the banana milkshake too. It reminded me of an old friend, but that is beside the point.
Promise rings seem to be the topic of choice to talk about right now. I wish I wouldn't have forgotten mine. But anywho... I think that I'm getting off the computer. I'll chat with you all soon. Tschüs. :)
So yesterday I did my research presentation, but I didn't research at all. I just did it on my best friends. It was fun to show my new friends the people that I love. They were really cool about seeing your photos on my power point, and Maik told me ,,Es is sehr schön." It made my day for sure.
Things in class are so funny. We play so many games, and laugh at everything. And of course if someone messes up a word really badly everyone yells, ,,Du bist ein Epishe Fehrschlag!!!" (You're an epic failure.) It's sticks here in German too. We have a good time in class. It never fails that if you fall asleep that Maik will try to scare you, and the whole classes will be watching him do it.
We ate this keesh like substance thing. I'm not sure what it's really called, but it was pretty good. I just got full and couldn't eat anything else. I enjoyed the banana milkshake too. It reminded me of an old friend, but that is beside the point.
Promise rings seem to be the topic of choice to talk about right now. I wish I wouldn't have forgotten mine. But anywho... I think that I'm getting off the computer. I'll chat with you all soon. Tschüs. :)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I've been on the internet wayyyyyyy too long.
I would write a long novel like i usually do, but I shouldn't. I need to get off.
Today was good. Lots of laughs and fun times.
I got to teach the hoedown throw down with joy to our class yesterday.
And today we practiced with the other members of our group for the talent show.
Today we also did small group skits which was a lot of fun especially when you get to play the obnoxious clengy Ami. :) That was my part btdubs. :)
Um.. what else???
I got a headache....and did some dishes, and cleaned my room.
And of course I had four classes today, and then I got to help with a seminar on the German school system....my whole class did.
And tomorrow Christian gets an awesome surprise. :D
,,Ich liebe deise Leben." -Juli.
Tschüs. :)
Today was good. Lots of laughs and fun times.
I got to teach the hoedown throw down with joy to our class yesterday.
And today we practiced with the other members of our group for the talent show.
Today we also did small group skits which was a lot of fun especially when you get to play the obnoxious clengy Ami. :) That was my part btdubs. :)
Um.. what else???
I got a headache....and did some dishes, and cleaned my room.
And of course I had four classes today, and then I got to help with a seminar on the German school system....my whole class did.
And tomorrow Christian gets an awesome surprise. :D
,,Ich liebe deise Leben." -Juli.
Tschüs. :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Wow, you talk alot.
I know alot is two words...
I really type a whole lot.
So this time.
I won't.
I just wanted to tell you I'm going down stairs.
Baahaha.
Hope school treats you all well.
Chow.
I really type a whole lot.
So this time.
I won't.
I just wanted to tell you I'm going down stairs.
Baahaha.
Hope school treats you all well.
Chow.
You will both be blind for ten minutes.
So as you probably have noticed we do group activities here that make you think and challenge your brain as to why the heck you're doing something. Kind of like things they some times give us to do at camp for those of you who go to Trinity.
Last night in small group we were paired with another member of the group and had to lead them around where ever we wanted. The catch though was that they had to keep their eyes closed, and you weren't suppose to talk. I was an epic failure at the no talking, but I think you guys understand that I just can't be quiet in awkward situations. Ha.
It was cool though because Joy asked me what do you think this has to do with host families? I was like I have no clue! And then when we got done with the activity we talked it through. And it was pretty evident what it had to do with. You have to trust that the person leading you is watching out for you and making sure that you're not going to get hurt and the like. And then with the leading it's you're responsible for these people. It's really neat concept.
But class just started and I must do a research project. Chow. :)
Last night in small group we were paired with another member of the group and had to lead them around where ever we wanted. The catch though was that they had to keep their eyes closed, and you weren't suppose to talk. I was an epic failure at the no talking, but I think you guys understand that I just can't be quiet in awkward situations. Ha.
It was cool though because Joy asked me what do you think this has to do with host families? I was like I have no clue! And then when we got done with the activity we talked it through. And it was pretty evident what it had to do with. You have to trust that the person leading you is watching out for you and making sure that you're not going to get hurt and the like. And then with the leading it's you're responsible for these people. It's really neat concept.
But class just started and I must do a research project. Chow. :)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
"Brothers, or michelle..."
Brothers, and have you completely forgotten this word of encouragment that addresses you as children? It says,
,,My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord diciplines those he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child."
-Hebrew 12:5-8
This past week has been full of mixed emotions, and the lack of reading my Word. I let myself be distracted by something that I was warned to pray against. And sure enough when I let my guard down, and stopped waking up to read and have some kind of alone time, I was hit hard. I take blame for my actions because it has been something I have watched completely unfold before my eyes; I saw it coming.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. -Romans 7:15
We were all hanging out this weekend and the situation exploded all over me, and then I made it worse. I'm being vague so my heart is protected, and because the details don't really matter in this situation. It's the concept that matters more than anything. Does that make sense? (That's a Phillips line.) I was then hanging out when the question was prosed to me by a fellow Christ follower. She didn't know my deep struggle, and just found out today. All she said though was, ,,What are you doing?" It hit me, and brought me back to reality.
We and another girl sat and had our Sunday bible study this morning, and my heart was and still is blessed by just being able to be vulnerable and transparent with these two GIRLS. I was able to tell them both my struggle, and they were a beautiful picture of love and grace. They told me they loved me, and as hard as it was for them to watch they knew I needed it to happen just like it did this weekend because it put me back in my place. We sat and read verses for an hour and then prayed over eachother, our families, our host families, and personal situations. It was outside where everyone could see us, and for some reason that was encouraging.
They loved me in the midst of acting a fool, and reminded me that I don't really want what I was seeking and persuing. This is a continuous journey, and I blessed and honored that God gave me both of these girls. They are an answered prayer.
To those of you who have been and are praying for me I'm humbled and greatly encouraged that you are. Pray for the hearts of my guest family and for mine too that we'll become a family and that we'll communicate in the good and bad. My personal goal this year is that God will fill the desires of my heart. I will look to Him for my self-esteem, for love, and for comfort.
I'm excited for the journey to come, and the destination when I finally get through the journey.
Thought for the day:
Love is not a fight, but something worth fighting for.
And!
Ich brauch ein Freund nicht.
(I don't NEED a boyfriend.)
,,My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord diciplines those he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child."
-Hebrew 12:5-8
This past week has been full of mixed emotions, and the lack of reading my Word. I let myself be distracted by something that I was warned to pray against. And sure enough when I let my guard down, and stopped waking up to read and have some kind of alone time, I was hit hard. I take blame for my actions because it has been something I have watched completely unfold before my eyes; I saw it coming.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. -Romans 7:15
We were all hanging out this weekend and the situation exploded all over me, and then I made it worse. I'm being vague so my heart is protected, and because the details don't really matter in this situation. It's the concept that matters more than anything. Does that make sense? (That's a Phillips line.) I was then hanging out when the question was prosed to me by a fellow Christ follower. She didn't know my deep struggle, and just found out today. All she said though was, ,,What are you doing?" It hit me, and brought me back to reality.
We and another girl sat and had our Sunday bible study this morning, and my heart was and still is blessed by just being able to be vulnerable and transparent with these two GIRLS. I was able to tell them both my struggle, and they were a beautiful picture of love and grace. They told me they loved me, and as hard as it was for them to watch they knew I needed it to happen just like it did this weekend because it put me back in my place. We sat and read verses for an hour and then prayed over eachother, our families, our host families, and personal situations. It was outside where everyone could see us, and for some reason that was encouraging.
They loved me in the midst of acting a fool, and reminded me that I don't really want what I was seeking and persuing. This is a continuous journey, and I blessed and honored that God gave me both of these girls. They are an answered prayer.
To those of you who have been and are praying for me I'm humbled and greatly encouraged that you are. Pray for the hearts of my guest family and for mine too that we'll become a family and that we'll communicate in the good and bad. My personal goal this year is that God will fill the desires of my heart. I will look to Him for my self-esteem, for love, and for comfort.
I'm excited for the journey to come, and the destination when I finally get through the journey.
Thought for the day:
Love is not a fight, but something worth fighting for.
And!
Ich brauch ein Freund nicht.
(I don't NEED a boyfriend.)
Friday, August 7, 2009
Geh weg! Du stinkst!
I've offically been ,,pimped." I had a crash course in pick up and rejection lines today in class. It was the best thing ever. Hahaha. :)
This week has flown by, and sadly I really haven't noticed that I haven't kept up well with my blog or emails. It just hasn't been the most important thing. And I do apologize for that.
I'm learning about communication, and I do believe that I've already told you guys that. I am also seeing my self in a new light. I'm weak. I can't do this alone. But in another word, don't think that I'm sad or upset. I'm having a blast, but I am seeing things that normally I wouldn't see as attacks or the like from the enemy for weeks. I see the importance of knowing why you dress a certain way. Or why you have certain standards.
We had a girl talk yesterday, and they basically told us if we decide to date a boy and we've been dating them long enough, and we WANT to have sex that we could. They said have safe sex for sure, but that it was perfectly okay to. My heart began to ache.
I haven't been in my word in a few days because I've been destracted just by things here, and by life. Some of you who I shared with before I left will understand this statement completely, and I want you to know that I'm torn. I know what to do. And I know if I go the other way that I'm sinning. (Thank you to Amanda for that light this summer.)
I am starting to see why I'm here, but there are times that yes I do feel lonely. And there are times that I want to bathe for more than five minutes. If you come over here you will learn you DON'T bathe in the mornings because you will freeze. Standards get annoying when no one here has them, and when you find out that things here really ARE different.
I'm sticking to my standards. I'm starting to clear my head and really see what I want, and in reality it's not what is here...that goes back to the distraction by the the way. This is some what in code, and partly because I'm disappointed in myself. I didn't do anything horrific, but still that fact that I was told it would happen and didn't think much about it kind of makes it sting now that it's reality.
I do see the light in this situation though, and praise God that I see I really don't want what is offered. I like not wearing revealing clothes, and I like not wanting to ,,give myself away", and I also like not wanting to use the language that some people have picked up on. I like that I don't understand all the jokes, and I praise my God that my heart and head are still being guarded and protected. I like that drinking still scares the crap out of me, and that I want to do it in safe places. My heart is encouraged because God is still with me, and He is still the Lord of my life even when nothing makes much sense, and all that you are fed is carbohydrates. :)
God never leaves me or forsakes me.
The Lord MY GOD is with ME. HE take great delight in ME. He comforts me WITH LOVE, and delights over me with singing.
The cry of my heart is that Germany will see that the God that the acknowledge on Christmas and Easter is still alive and wants to love them.
Thought for the day:
Women want to be chased, and sought after, and longed for. And women were created in the image of God just like man was. We were created for man as his helper.
With that said, God wants to be chased, sought after and longed for.
My name is Michelle Engelke, and I fell asleep outside at the tables last night looking at the moon and city lights. Jesus Christ is the Lord of my life, and I don't serve Him like I should.
This week has flown by, and sadly I really haven't noticed that I haven't kept up well with my blog or emails. It just hasn't been the most important thing. And I do apologize for that.
I'm learning about communication, and I do believe that I've already told you guys that. I am also seeing my self in a new light. I'm weak. I can't do this alone. But in another word, don't think that I'm sad or upset. I'm having a blast, but I am seeing things that normally I wouldn't see as attacks or the like from the enemy for weeks. I see the importance of knowing why you dress a certain way. Or why you have certain standards.
We had a girl talk yesterday, and they basically told us if we decide to date a boy and we've been dating them long enough, and we WANT to have sex that we could. They said have safe sex for sure, but that it was perfectly okay to. My heart began to ache.
I haven't been in my word in a few days because I've been destracted just by things here, and by life. Some of you who I shared with before I left will understand this statement completely, and I want you to know that I'm torn. I know what to do. And I know if I go the other way that I'm sinning. (Thank you to Amanda for that light this summer.)
I am starting to see why I'm here, but there are times that yes I do feel lonely. And there are times that I want to bathe for more than five minutes. If you come over here you will learn you DON'T bathe in the mornings because you will freeze. Standards get annoying when no one here has them, and when you find out that things here really ARE different.
I'm sticking to my standards. I'm starting to clear my head and really see what I want, and in reality it's not what is here...that goes back to the distraction by the the way. This is some what in code, and partly because I'm disappointed in myself. I didn't do anything horrific, but still that fact that I was told it would happen and didn't think much about it kind of makes it sting now that it's reality.
I do see the light in this situation though, and praise God that I see I really don't want what is offered. I like not wearing revealing clothes, and I like not wanting to ,,give myself away", and I also like not wanting to use the language that some people have picked up on. I like that I don't understand all the jokes, and I praise my God that my heart and head are still being guarded and protected. I like that drinking still scares the crap out of me, and that I want to do it in safe places. My heart is encouraged because God is still with me, and He is still the Lord of my life even when nothing makes much sense, and all that you are fed is carbohydrates. :)
God never leaves me or forsakes me.
The Lord MY GOD is with ME. HE take great delight in ME. He comforts me WITH LOVE, and delights over me with singing.
The cry of my heart is that Germany will see that the God that the acknowledge on Christmas and Easter is still alive and wants to love them.
Thought for the day:
Women want to be chased, and sought after, and longed for. And women were created in the image of God just like man was. We were created for man as his helper.
With that said, God wants to be chased, sought after and longed for.
My name is Michelle Engelke, and I fell asleep outside at the tables last night looking at the moon and city lights. Jesus Christ is the Lord of my life, and I don't serve Him like I should.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Praise the Lord, Electrons!
That's exactly what the painting read in the cathedral I went to yesterday. The cute little monk said it, and it was adorable.
I'm learning a lot about myself, and some of it's good to know. It's negative, but good. I also am enjoying life here. I'm tired because I've had two late nights in a row, and tonight I really just need to sleep.
I think I might go and walk through the vineyards later.
Oh and I'm a princess. It's about time I go through this phase. I think it's the watch.
I have so much more to say, but i can't think of the words. I'm sorry guys I'm just tired. hahaha.
We finally ate schnitzel. :)
And class was fun today. I'm off to go find trouble. :) Chow.
I'm learning a lot about myself, and some of it's good to know. It's negative, but good. I also am enjoying life here. I'm tired because I've had two late nights in a row, and tonight I really just need to sleep.
I think I might go and walk through the vineyards later.
Oh and I'm a princess. It's about time I go through this phase. I think it's the watch.
I have so much more to say, but i can't think of the words. I'm sorry guys I'm just tired. hahaha.
We finally ate schnitzel. :)
And class was fun today. I'm off to go find trouble. :) Chow.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
It was just a 2 Corinthians 4:16 kind of day.
,,Though outwardly you are wasting away, inwardly you are being renewed day by day."
I didn't have a very good day yesterday, and really no one in my wohnung did. I think we all hit the part of the journey where the new wears off and reality sinks in, and the coolest part was that we all were with each other as we cried together, and we encouraged eachother. It was a beautiful thing.
My heart was encouraged this morning after being so frustrated with classes, people, and just ,,becoming German," because I got to the mirror to start getting somewhat ready for a ,,new day" when that verse popped into my head. It was God. That's the only thing I can say. It was. It is, and He lives.
I was having problems with speaking in German, and being scared of being corrected, but I'm learning that corrections make me not SOUND as stupid. Which in the end makes for a better experience. I even went as far today in morning class to describe the movie we're about to watch in German to Maik, and he said yes you're right.
I met this cute little German girl today who use to attend school here at Schloss Hansenberg, and her English was really good. But then she brought in her friend who only speaks German and hasn't met a forgiener before so we instantly had a common bond that we didn't want to be made fun of and I tried to speak German for her, and she helped me when I struggled with it, and then I helped her with her English.
God has encouraged my heart, and given me a hope and a future that I am where I am suppose to be even though last night the only thing I wanted to do was give up and go home. I might not really know these people here, but by the end of this journey I will never take back their friendship because we have a common bond and that is that our hearts and emotions are going crazy. We go from laughing to crying instantly and from homesick to curious in just moments. We don't have to explain the need for a hug or the need for a talk, we just do it.
It's something that unless you are here I don't think it'll ever make complete sense, but I'm telling you with the words and with my fingers typing them: THIS WILL BE WORTH IT. And because of the people I've met her I've changed. I promise you that.
The Lord is good, and my heart is still together. Fun thought for the day: ,,Absense makes the heart grow fonder."
I didn't have a very good day yesterday, and really no one in my wohnung did. I think we all hit the part of the journey where the new wears off and reality sinks in, and the coolest part was that we all were with each other as we cried together, and we encouraged eachother. It was a beautiful thing.
My heart was encouraged this morning after being so frustrated with classes, people, and just ,,becoming German," because I got to the mirror to start getting somewhat ready for a ,,new day" when that verse popped into my head. It was God. That's the only thing I can say. It was. It is, and He lives.
I was having problems with speaking in German, and being scared of being corrected, but I'm learning that corrections make me not SOUND as stupid. Which in the end makes for a better experience. I even went as far today in morning class to describe the movie we're about to watch in German to Maik, and he said yes you're right.
I met this cute little German girl today who use to attend school here at Schloss Hansenberg, and her English was really good. But then she brought in her friend who only speaks German and hasn't met a forgiener before so we instantly had a common bond that we didn't want to be made fun of and I tried to speak German for her, and she helped me when I struggled with it, and then I helped her with her English.
God has encouraged my heart, and given me a hope and a future that I am where I am suppose to be even though last night the only thing I wanted to do was give up and go home. I might not really know these people here, but by the end of this journey I will never take back their friendship because we have a common bond and that is that our hearts and emotions are going crazy. We go from laughing to crying instantly and from homesick to curious in just moments. We don't have to explain the need for a hug or the need for a talk, we just do it.
It's something that unless you are here I don't think it'll ever make complete sense, but I'm telling you with the words and with my fingers typing them: THIS WILL BE WORTH IT. And because of the people I've met her I've changed. I promise you that.
The Lord is good, and my heart is still together. Fun thought for the day: ,,Absense makes the heart grow fonder."
Monday, August 3, 2009
I really am an easy target.
Even the Germans enjoy making fun and picking on me, so don't think for two seconds I've missed out on that side of life!
We did this thing where we're learning culture, and we spent like two hours yesterday talking about observing before you judge, and it's not wrong it's just different, and the like. And then they paired us off into boys and girls, and we ,,took a journey" together.
I won't go into describing what happened because it really wigged me out, and I think it would have been worse if I wasn't with Maik, my teacher, and Kath, my teamer. I did judge before I observed, and I was frankly pissed and really upset by the end of the excerise. It goes to show that culture shock is fast and real, and they were trying to simulate just that.
I had to go back and apologize to Kath and Maik because I was so embarassed that I was really rude to them, but I learned the lesson, and saw what they were trying to do. I guess the rule of thumb is still out in the open: Expect the unexpected.
Off to go brush my teeth so I don't have to taste this vinegar from lunch. :\
We did this thing where we're learning culture, and we spent like two hours yesterday talking about observing before you judge, and it's not wrong it's just different, and the like. And then they paired us off into boys and girls, and we ,,took a journey" together.
I won't go into describing what happened because it really wigged me out, and I think it would have been worse if I wasn't with Maik, my teacher, and Kath, my teamer. I did judge before I observed, and I was frankly pissed and really upset by the end of the excerise. It goes to show that culture shock is fast and real, and they were trying to simulate just that.
I had to go back and apologize to Kath and Maik because I was so embarassed that I was really rude to them, but I learned the lesson, and saw what they were trying to do. I guess the rule of thumb is still out in the open: Expect the unexpected.
Off to go brush my teeth so I don't have to taste this vinegar from lunch. :\
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