Geh weg! Du stinkst!

I've offically been ,,pimped." I had a crash course in pick up and rejection lines today in class. It was the best thing ever. Hahaha. :)

This week has flown by, and sadly I really haven't noticed that I haven't kept up well with my blog or emails. It just hasn't been the most important thing. And I do apologize for that.

I'm learning about communication, and I do believe that I've already told you guys that. I am also seeing my self in a new light. I'm weak. I can't do this alone. But in another word, don't think that I'm sad or upset. I'm having a blast, but I am seeing things that normally I wouldn't see as attacks or the like from the enemy for weeks. I see the importance of knowing why you dress a certain way. Or why you have certain standards.

We had a girl talk yesterday, and they basically told us if we decide to date a boy and we've been dating them long enough, and we WANT to have sex that we could. They said have safe sex for sure, but that it was perfectly okay to. My heart began to ache.

I haven't been in my word in a few days because I've been destracted just by things here, and by life. Some of you who I shared with before I left will understand this statement completely, and I want you to know that I'm torn. I know what to do. And I know if I go the other way that I'm sinning. (Thank you to Amanda for that light this summer.)

I am starting to see why I'm here, but there are times that yes I do feel lonely. And there are times that I want to bathe for more than five minutes. If you come over here you will learn you DON'T bathe in the mornings because you will freeze. Standards get annoying when no one here has them, and when you find out that things here really ARE different.

I'm sticking to my standards. I'm starting to clear my head and really see what I want, and in reality it's not what is here...that goes back to the distraction by the the way. This is some what in code, and partly because I'm disappointed in myself. I didn't do anything horrific, but still that fact that I was told it would happen and didn't think much about it kind of makes it sting now that it's reality.

I do see the light in this situation though, and praise God that I see I really don't want what is offered. I like not wearing revealing clothes, and I like not wanting to ,,give myself away", and I also like not wanting to use the language that some people have picked up on. I like that I don't understand all the jokes, and I praise my God that my heart and head are still being guarded and protected. I like that drinking still scares the crap out of me, and that I want to do it in safe places. My heart is encouraged because God is still with me, and He is still the Lord of my life even when nothing makes much sense, and all that you are fed is carbohydrates. :)

God never leaves me or forsakes me.
The Lord MY GOD is with ME. HE take great delight in ME. He comforts me WITH LOVE, and delights over me with singing.
The cry of my heart is that Germany will see that the God that the acknowledge on Christmas and Easter is still alive and wants to love them.

Thought for the day:
Women want to be chased, and sought after, and longed for. And women were created in the image of God just like man was. We were created for man as his helper.

With that said, God wants to be chased, sought after and longed for.





My name is Michelle Engelke, and I fell asleep outside at the tables last night looking at the moon and city lights. Jesus Christ is the Lord of my life, and I don't serve Him like I should.