I was sitting here tonight looking through my planner last year so that I could find some addresses to send people Christmas cards. I can't believe how fast time flies, and how fast it seems people stop having time for you. I'm not one to blame. I have time for no one really, not even for myself. I catch myself wishing some of you people were around from Germany from time to time simply because I feel like you are my friends through it all. I know that I have people here, but I can't help but to be so synical.
I have no excuse for this synicalness at all. I have a wonderful family, an amazing boyfriend, and school is almost over. The friends I have here are all I have ever asked for and more. I don't know why I am so bahumbug these days. It's not even Christmas that makes me that way... it's Southaven, I think.
There will be another move shortly to come. I've decided on a little school to go to in Kentucky, which I feel will benefit me on my journey towards what I felt I was called to a long time ago. I'm still not where I thought I would be by now emotionally or spiritually. I'm almost depressed by the person that I am not.... this girl who once was there is, well, gone, and I've tried and tried to be her, but I can't seem to find her anymore. I think it's time to leave her be...to maybe even let her go, and to move forward in this life. Forward with the people whom I love, and who I know love me.
I miss this blog.
I enjoy getting this all out.
