As I was sitting down for dinner tonight, I was thinking through all that happen last year. Was 2009 a good year, or a worth-while year? or was it a heart-breaking year?
2009 came with it's mighty ups and trecherous downs, I do indeed have to say. Some where I literally felt my heart stop beating a few times either from excitement or from complete pain. But at the end of this year, well with one day to spare, this year has been a blessing. One filled with so many lessons and learning what it is that keeps us ticking through this life.
One with my hearts broken. One with people using one another, and friendships leaving.... but the beauty in this year in 2009... it's what came after the heartbreak for me. I have prayed probably my whole life that God would give me a story, a cool testimony. And my God has done something more than that. He has provided me with a story that has taken over 18 years to write....there were nine months in the tummy. :)
But what I mean is through out history if there was one little detail messed up from how my great-grandfather traveled over the atlantic to find freedom from whatever it was that he didn't want to do in germany, then I wouldn't be here in Germany. I never would have been able to watch my God take my little life, and totally throw a curve ball with it.
Thinking through 2009, my God did things in my life that I never thought were possible. He restored more than three completely destroyed relationships in my life. He brought me to a place where I didn't have to run, but just learn to listen. Where I don't have to be a little girl, but where I am now the oldest. He's turn my tables, and is continuing to teach me how to communicate, how to love, how to pour my heart out EVEN when I might NOT get anything in return. He's teaching me grace and mercy for my family and friends.
My God? He's amazing. He's the only one who understands my Danglish. I am so blessed that the same God that took me out of Southaven where I could communicate, put me here in Lage, and can still understand my heart. He knows when I am sad, or just hurting, or deeply desiring something. I never have to try to figure out the words to tell him that: He Knows.
So I guess at the end of this blog, I am seeing that 2009 was a very rough learning process, but truely a reward that has become an ebenezer in this little life of mine. One day I hope to write down this life of mine. All that I have lived, but 2009 will probably half the document if ever completed. ;)
Until next year!
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